The Boy I Wish I Had
by Edwardlover95
Summary: Bella is abused by her boyfriend Mike Newton. Can Edward help her? M for abuse. Review! ALL HUMAN!
1. Reason

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The Boyfriend I Wish I Had 

Never in my dreams did I think love would turn to pain. I am Bella Swan and I have been abused by my boyfriend, Mike Newton. Not just physically but verbally. It was not always like this. When we first started out we were like every other teenager in love. We went out, kissed, and snuggled. But then things changed.

_Flashback_

_I was going to surprise Mike with a new outfit. I was a short short skirt and a holler top with heals. He would love it. He walked in with an angry look on his face when he saw me._

_"What are you wearing!?" Mike yelled._

_"A new outfit for you." I said with a smile._

_"Oh I know why you wearing it its for that new kid Cullen!" he said. I had no idea why he would bring the Edward Cullen in to this. He was hot but i loved Mike._

_"What does he have to do with this?" _

_"EVERYTHING!" then he slapped me. That was the first time that he ever slapped me. " You will never see him, talk to him, or think about him if you do this would get a lot worse!" he hit me again only harder. I put my hand to my cheek it was red and warm. "DO YOU HEAR ME!?" _

_"Yes," _

_End of Flashback _

I never talk to Edward. I want to but I can't. I did not want him to get hurt. Even though I would, Mike still just hits me if he thinks I am thinking about Edward. No one knows about this. Not even my dad. I want to tell my dad. But I am scared of Charlie getting hurt because of me.

It was time for school. i went downstairs to say bye to Charlie and their he was. Edward Cullen.

"Morning Bells." my dad said.

"Morning Bella." his voice was so smooth and he gave me a little smile. Which he was famous for.

"Morning dad. Morning Edward." I said.

"Edward came over to walk you to school." my dad explained.

"If that is okay with you." he said quickly.

"I...I think Mike is going to take me." I replied.

"Oh. Okay then I will see you at school." he said sadly.

"Yea. See you at school." He said goodbye and walked out the door.

"Why did you do that?" my dad asked.

"Because dad I have a boyfriend." I replied.

"Its not like he asked you out. All he wanted to do was walk you to school."

"Dad, can you just drop it." I heard a cars horn outside. Mike was hear. "Bye Dad."

I walked out to the car. "Hey Bella!" he said kissing me.

He never acted like he hurt me. He always was nice. But when I did something he did not like thats when he would get angry. I was like he turned into a new person. Someone i never knew.

"Hey Mike." we drove in silence to school.

When we got to the parking lot he stopped to car and did not unlock the doors. He was mad I could tell. His hands were griping the steering wheel and he was shaking with anger. "I saw him." he said. On no he knew!

"Mike I had no idea he was coming over I swear." I whispered. He slapped me across the face.

"DO NOT LIE TO ME!!!" he screamed.

"I'm not." He hit me harder and punched me in the stomach. I closed my eyes not wanting to look at him.

"I SWARE IF I SEE HIM ONE MORE TIME HE WILL DIE! YOU ARE MINE!!!" he whispered in my ear and walked out of the car.

When he was gone i opened my eyes only to be looking in to green ones. I knew them. They were Edward Cullen's

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**-Edwardlover95 **


	2. Green Eyed Hero

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Green Eyed Hero

I could not move. His green eyes were on my brown ones. His were angry but with a little sadness in them. I waited a moment before I got out. Hear go's nothing. I walked out of Mike's car trying to rush by him but it didn't work he was to fast for me.

"What happened?" he asked though his teeth.

"Nothing," I answered in a whisper.

"It did not look like nothing," he put his hand on my cheek. "Bella, you can tell me."

"It's really nothing, Edward. But if you want to help me you would leave me alone." I said coldly pushing his hand away.

"You need help, Bella. You need to tell Charlie...someone. But I will not let you go back to Mike."

"Edward you don't get it!"

"Then help me get it!"

"He will kill you if you keep talking to me!"

"Why?"

"He.....He thinks I like you!" He was a bit shocked when I told him. "He hit me because he saw you over my house. He thinks that I am going to dump him. So if you want to help me you will leave me alone!" I ran crying because of the last part. I wanted him to help me. I didn't want him to leave me alone.

I ran into the girls room into one of the stalls and sat they're crying. I heard the door of the bathroom open and saw two feet under the stall I was in. I opened to door to see Alice Cullen. Alice was Edward's sister. I never talked to her because I thought Mike would get mad because I was hanging out with a Cullen. "Hello," she said in a sweet voice. "I am Alice. Edward wanted me to check on you. Are you okay?"

"No," I said. "I'm not okay! I want to talk to your brother but I can't. He will get hurt because of me."

"Edward's a big boy he can take care of him self."

"I know but......but I care about him and I don't want to see him get hurt because of me." I cried.

"Edward cares about you Bella."

"He does?"

"Yea. He wants to help you and make sure you are okay. You should let him help you," she smiled. She was right. I should let him help me. But if he got hurt I wouldn't know what I would do.

"Okay." I agreed. "But what if Mike finds out?"

"He won't." She helped up and fixed my hair for me. It was a mess! Luckily Alice was good with hair. When she was done it was the prettiest thing I have ever seen. When we walked out Edward was waiting for us.

"Alice" he scold "What did you do to her?"

"You don't like it?" I asked sadly.

"No, no it's not that! I love it. Its just I asked Alice to check up on you not to fix your hair. It was beautiful before she fixed it," he smiled.

He walked me to my class and made sure Mike was not around. I didn't know why but when I am around Edward I feel safer. When class was over Mike sat with me at lunch. I got a glimpse of the Cullen's to see Edward. He was tense. Really tense. I didn't know what was wrong with him.

When lunch was done I went into to the girls room again to meet with Alice. Edward told me to meet her after lunch to tell them if Mike knew anything.

When school was done I went back to the the car. Mike was unhappy again. Shit!!!

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	3. His Voice

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His Voice

Scared out of my mind I went to his car. I could feel Edward's eyes on my back. Watching me. Watching Mike. Mike didn't kiss me when I got in the car. He didn't yell. He just sat their. Breathing with his eyes closed. He opened them only to reveal hateful eyes. With lust. "Okay," he said calmly stating the car "if you can't see that you are mine. I am just going to have to show you."

_Show me I thought _"Mike, what do you mean.....show me?" I asked.

"You'll see." he said smiling. His smile sent shivers down my back.

We pulled up to an abandoned wear-house. He got out of the car then he pulled me out. By my hair. "Mike were are you taking me?"

"Shut up!" he yelled.

When we got in the wear-house, we walked to an area with a bed. I knew what Mike meant now. He was going to rape me. "Mike don't do-" he cut me off with a slap.

"YOU MADE ME DO THIS, BELLA! AND NOW EDWARD WILL NEVER LIKE YOU! YOU WHORE!" his lips hit mine with such force that I could not breath. When I tried to pull away he would just hold me tighter. His lips only left mine to take off my shirt and then his. Next he made his way to my pants. I tried to scream but nothing came out. When he was done with my pants his lips found mine again. His tongue went into my mouth. Exploring it. "Now get on your knees and take off my pants and put your mouth on my dick!" he commanded.

I hesitated

"NOW!" he yelled.

I did as he asked. I put my lips on his hard erection. I sucked it making him cum instantly into my mouth. "SWOLOW IT!" he yelled. I was disgusting! "You know you like it!" he said with a smile.

Then he threw me onto the be he had been sitting on. After he got two ropes from his pocket and tied my arms with them onto the bed. "This way you can't move." he said. After he noticed that all of his clothes were of but I still had my underwear on. He took them off in a flash. "Mmmmm you so wet, Bella" he said. He went to by bra and unhooked it. He took my nipple into his mouth. I moaned a little. "I knew you would like it." But I didn't. I hated this I wanted to scream but the only thing that came out was a moan. "Wait till you see what's next."

Oh God what's coming next. I founded out. He plunged into me. I hut really bad. He went going in and out in and out. "Edward help!" I screamed finally not being able to take anymore

Mike slapped me "Don't you ever say his name again!" he yelled. But I did. Over and over again and he hit me over and over again. Then I felt it. His cum. He filled me. Suddenly I heard a voice. His voice. Mike was pulled off of me. I just laid their. My eyes got heavy and I could only hear. I heard yelling. A lot of yelling and punching. Then I heard the door slam shut. Where was Edward going? Was he going to leave me hear? I felt someone kneel next to me. It was going to happen again. Someone took my hand and whispered in my ear. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." It was his voice. Then I slipped into darkness.

**Okay this is the first lemon/rape scene I have ever written. So review and tell me what I need to work on. And sorry it so short! If you review you will get a peek of the next chapter!**

**-Edwardlover95**


	4. He'll Never Stop

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He'll Never Stop

The darkness was peaceful. But I wanted to see him. I needed to see him. I could only hear the sound of the heart monitor. Its strange, in all of the movies about hospitals the one thing you could hear is a heart monitor. But why am I in a hospital. I opened my eyes from my deep sleep to find a white room with a single chair. And in that chair was Edward.

He was asleep. He looked so peaceful. His face was perfect in every way. I moved to get a better look at his beautiful face, his eyes snapped open to see what the sound was. His eyes were fixed on me in disbelief. "Bella," he whispered. "Oh Bella!" He got up and ran to me with his arms wide open. He held me in his arms close to his chest. I thought that his is wear I wanted to be. This is wear I belong.

"Edward what happened?" I asked.

"That vile Mike Newton did this to you," he said.

"I know that but-but how did I get hear?"

"You don't remember?" he asked.

I shock my head no.

"Well when I came in he was on top of you," he shuttered at the memory as did I "then I grabbed him and pulled him off of you. I punched him and we fought. But somehow he got lose and ran away. I found you and took you hear so my dad can look at you."

"Your dad is doctor?"

"Yea I should get him." He got up to leave.

"No! Don't go!"

He took my hand and began to rub small circles on it. "I'll be right back. I promise." he soothed.

I nodded my head. His hand slipped out of mine and he went to the door.

Seconds latter he came in with a man who looked to young to be a father. Instead he looked like a male model. He had blonde hair and a pal face. "Hello Bella," he said with the same softness in his voice as Edward had. "i am Carlisle Cullen."

Nice to meet you Mr. Cullen."

"Please Bella call me Carlisle."

I nodded my head yes.

"Bella, your father is hear. He wants to talk to you." Crap Charlie! I wonder what he thought happened.

"Can come in?" I asked.

"Of course. Edward, w should leave. Bella and her father need to talk."

Edward agreed. He kissed me on my forehead and walked out the door. Charlie came in with a worried look on his face. "Bella what happened? I came home and you weren't their and the next thing I knew I was getting a call from Edward father telling me that you were in the hospital."

God, how was I going to tell him? "I fell down the steps." I lied.

"Where?"

"At school thats why I was not home. Edward took me hear to see if everything was alright and I guess his dad called you knowing how worried you would be." I could not tell him the truth. It hurt to much. I would tell him but not now.

"Oh thank God! I thought the worse!"

"Yea I'm okay."

"Good."

"Can you send Mr. Cullen and Edward in hear? I have to ask them something."

"Sure Belles. I'm glad your okay."

"Thanks dad."

Edward and Carlisle walked in moments later.

"I lied to Charlie about what happened." I told them

"Bella why?" Edward asked

"I couldn't tell him." I cried. "Please don't tell him. I promise I will tell him when I am ready."

"Its okay Bella. I will not tell unless your ready. Right Carlisle." Carlisle nodded.

"Thank you. Both of you." He held me close to his cheat like he did before and hummed me a song I didn't hear before.

I was able to go home the next day. When I got home I went straight to my bedroom to sleep. When I walked in I found an note addressed to me. I opened the note. It was from Mike. I read it and my heart stopped. I dropped the note and went to my phone to call Edward. Mike was never going to stop until I was his.

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**-Edwardlover95**


	5. Dreams

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Dreams

When Edward came over I read him the note. I read it all but one part.

It said:

_Bella,_

_You might have gotten away from me this time, but I won't let it happen again. I will take you somewhere far away from little Eddie so he can't find. Wear no one can find you. I will keep you their as my wife and you'll never be able to leave. Remember Bella YOUR MINE! AND NOW THAT YOUR NOT PURE EDWARD WILL NEVER WANT YOU!! REMEMBER THAT!_

_Mike_

As Edward passed back and forth thinking of a plan I just read one line over and over again. The line I didn't tell him. _"Edward will never want you" _I never thought of that. Maybe not that I was not pure as I was before that Edward would never want me. I started to cry of the thought.

Edward heard me and rushed over, "Bella what is it?" he asked putting his hands on my face.

"Y-you d-d-don't w-w-w-want me anymore!" I sobbed.

"Bella what in the world would give you that idea."

I handed him the note.

When he was done reading it his jaw tightened. His hand around the note turned to fists and crushed the it into a ball.

"He's lying,love. I-" he paused. "I love you. And I would never leave." I was shocked. Edward loved me.

"You do."

He nodded and smiled.

"Oh Edward I love you too!" I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him gently.

He broke the kiss and said,"You don't know how long I wanted to hear you say that." He kissed me again only more passionately.

We heard an someone walk in and a burst of laughter. "Oh little Eddie got his first kiss!"

Emmett.

We pulled away and I felt my checks turn red from embarrassment.

Emmett was Edward's older brother. He looked a little like Edward but Emmett was much more muscular. Not that Edward isn't. Another boy was with him. His hair was blond and he was little. I never saw him before.

"Um.... Bella you know Emmett and this is Jasper," he said gesturing to the blond boy. "I called them to help out with Mike."

"Yea, wear is this kid!? Just tell me and I rip him apart," Emmett said with a grin.

"We don't know," Edward answered. "I was hoping you guys can search around for him."

"Sure," Emmett said.

Jasper jut nodded.

"Great!" Edward said. "Bella's going to stay with us for awhile so if he goes to the house she won't be their."

Stay hear? With him? "What do you mean stay hear?" I asked.

"Bella I not letting you go back with Mike still out their. Your staying with me."

"But Char-"

He cut me off, "Alice called Charlie and told him you guys were going to have a sleepover."

"Oh." I felt better but still a little strange. I was going to stay over Edward's house.

Emmett chuckled "Alice and Bella are the ones having a sleepover. Yea right!"

Edward's jaw tightened, "GET OUT!" he said between his teeth.

Emmett and Jasper left and when to look for Mike. Edward and I soon followed but we went to his house. When we got their it was late and Emmett and Jasper said that their was no sign of Mike anywhere. When Edward heard of that he instead that I slept in his room. Alice was mad but agreed that my safety was more important then a sleepover. That night I had the most dream imaginable.

_I walked into Edward's room to see him packing my stuff._

_"What are you doing?" I asked. _

_"Bella you have to leave." he said._

_"Why?" I was so confused I though he wanted me to stay with him._

_"Because.....because I don't love you anymore!" I felt tears stream down my face. I couldn't believe it. Mike was right._

_"Why?" I repeated. _

_"Your a slut, Bella! You slept with him. I can't be with you anymore." He handed me my bags. "Go!" he yelled. _

_I grabbed the bags and ran out crying. He didn't love me. He didn't want me anymore. But who would? I was not pure like I was before. _

_I got to m y house and ran up the stairs to my room. Their waiting for me was Mike. He was sitting on the bed with a smile on his face. "I told you," he said. "He doesn't want you anymore. But its better now. Your with me." He patted the bed for me to join him. The strange thing was that I actually went. I sat beside him and put my head on his chest. "That a good girl." He pushed me on the bed so he was on top and finished what he started in the wear house._

I woke up crying and shaking. "Bella," Edward said. "Bella, what's wrong? What happened?"

"Bad dream." I answered.

"You want to talk about it?"

I shucked my head no. How could I tell him? I know he told me it was a lie but I couldn't believe it. That night was the first of many nightmares.

**Ok **


	6. Trouble

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Trouble 

After my first nightmare I couldn't sleep. I stayed in bed looking at the sealing thinking about the note Mike left me. Edward was sleeping next to me with one arm on my stomach holding me tight. I didn't want to move anyway. It felt right being hear with him. But that LETTER!!!

It was on my mind nonstop! I hated that it was all I could think about. Even now with Edward's arms around me that was what on my mind.

His eyes fluttered open looking at me. And in his beautiful eyes I could only see one thing........love.

"Morning, love" he said.

"Morning," I said kissing him. "Did I wake you?"

"No. I was ready to get up anyway," he said with a smile.

I smiled back a put my head on his chest.

"Are you ready to talk about that nightmare you had last night?" He asked.

"No."

"Okay. I'll wait till your ready to tell me."

I hated that I couldn't tell him. I wanted to but I didn't want him to get upset.

"We should get going, love." He kissed me on m forehead. "Alice wants to take you shopping." I knew he was smiling.

I groaned and tuned my head to look at him. "Do I really have to go?"

"Yes," he said with a huge smile.

We got up and got dressed. I put on a blue sweatsuit and my sneakers. Edward walked out of the bathroom with his jeans and thermal shirt. He look so....hot. "Ready?" he asked.

chuckled

"Um....uh...yea." I said mesmerized by his beauty.

He chuckled and lead me down stairs.

When we reached the bottom of the steps Alice was jumping up and down. "Did you tell her?" She asked.

"Yea," I answered for him. I turned my head to look at him. "He did!"

"GREAT!!! Now lets go!"

I groaned again. "But what are you going to do when I am gone?"

"I am going to look for Mike with Emmett and Jasper, love."

"Oh, okay."

"LETS GO! We are wasting our shopping time!" Alice shouted.

I kissed Edward goodbye. Alice took my hand and tugged me out of the room.

The car ride their was basically Alice talking about what clothes we were going to get. _Great just what I need!!!_ I thought.

We pulled into a spot in the mall parking lot. Alice pulled me out of the car and into the mall. The first place she went into was WAY to expensive. I hated that she spent so much money on me. But she said that since I was now with Edward I was family. I wonder if she spends this much o all her family? The second shop was a little bit more reasonably priced. Alice gave me some jeans and stuff to try on. I have to say Alice has really good taste in clothes. After that Alice said she only wanted to go into one more store. Victoria's Secret!

"No," I told her.

"How do you know if this is about you. Maybe I want to get something for me and Jasper." she said.

"Alice...."

"Oh come on, Bella."

"No Alice I-" I was cut off by her cell phone ringing. She looked at the name on the caller I.D and answered the phone

"Hey Edward" she she said.

I could hear only a little bit of what Edward was saying. But by the look on Alice's face it wasn't good.

"Okay." she said in a shaky voice and hung up. "Come on," she said to me.

I knew that I should be happy that I didn't have to go into Victoria's Secret but in my gut I knew something was wrong.

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	7. The Truth Comes Out

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The Truth Comes Out

I got into Alice's car. I was being to get scared. She never looked at me and her face was getting even paler. "Alice," I asked "what's going on?"

"Edward will tell you," she said in a shaky voice.

I couldn't just let it go. I had to know. "Alice please tell me."

"No Edward has to tell you." she yelled back.

"Okay, okay!" I could tell that this was something bad. Alice was always calm. But now she was scared. She was driving fast. Almost 100 MPH! "Alice you should slow down!"

"What?" she looked at the meter. "Oh, sorry."

Suddenly I finally realized what could be going on. Mike. He could be behind all of this. He could be the one we are running from. "Mike." I whispered.

Alice didn't say anything. She pulled into the Cullen's driveway. I ran out of the car and into the house. 'Edward!" I yelled "Edward were are you?" I ran around the house like a lunatic. I ran into Edward's room. "Edward were-" I saw Edward sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. Carlisle was sitting in Edward's desk chair with Esme behind him. Emmet and Jasper were not in the room. _This must be bad. _I thought. "Edward," I stepped closer to him. "Edward, what's going on?"

"Bella, I think you should sit." Carlisle said.

I sat next to Edward on the bed. His hand were still covering his beautiful face. "Bella, something happened today." Carlisle said.

"Just tell me what's happening." I said in a whisper.

"Its Charlie." My heart stopped. Charlie? What happened to him? "What about Charlie?" I asked in a shaky voice.

"Mike got into the house thinking you were their." I knew it. " When he found Charlie their alone he just started betting him. He was found by a neighbor and was rushed to the hospital. I made sure that I was his doctor. Bella, he is okay. He is a little shaken and has some buries and broken bones but he is fine. He is still at the hospital." Carlisle stopped but the one thing on my mind was if Mike was still out their.

"And Mike?" I asked.

"Still out their." Carlisle said lowering his head. Once again my heart stopped. Still out their?

"Its my fault." Edward spoke for the first time since I walked in. His voice sounded like he has been crying and his hands were still covering his eyes unable to look at me. "I should have been watching the house. Making Jasper, Emmett, or myself go and check on Charlie. How could I be so stupid!"

"Edward Cullen you are not stupid!" I yelled at him. I moved his hand from his eyes so he could look at me. His eyes closed, still not able to look at me. "Look at me Edward. Please. How could you have known that he was going to their?"

Edward opened his eyes and for the first time I saw his lovely green eyes. "But I should have known." he sighed.

"I am not mad. I am glad that nothing to bad happened. Now I want to to stop beating yourself up because of this and I want to see my father."

Edward nodded but I knew he would not let it go.

I went to the hospital with Edward. Carlisle followed us in his car. When we pulled up to the hospital parking lot I waited for Edward, as usual, to open the door and help me out. I held on to his hand and I saw a little smile on his lips that made me smile. We walked into the hospital and Carlisle told me were Charlie's room was. Edward said for me to go alone to talk to Charlie but that he would be in Carlisle's office around the corner from Charlie's room.

The door was shut so I peeked my head in to see if Charlie was sleeping. He was sitting up on his bed watching a football game. Still Charlie. "Dad?" I said.

He looked away from the TV to look at me. His eyes grew wide "BELLA!" he exclaimed "How-how did you-"

I knew what he was going to ask. "Edward and Carlisle." I said cutting him off.

"Oh. I was going to call you but I didn't want you to get upset. I guess you know what happened?" He asked.

"Yea." I whispered.

"Why would Mike do such a thing?" I forgot that I lied to Charlie about the rape.

"Ugh....Charlie..um he was look for me." I stuttered

"What? Why?"

I took a deep breath. "Um...remember when I was in the hospital and told you that I fell down the steps?"

"Yes."

"Um..thats not what happened."

He looked confused. "Bella what really happened?"

I started to cry. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't tell him that I had lied to him. "Mike was an abusive boyfriend. He hit me and beat me till I couldn't walk. He started this when he thought I liked Edward thats why I didn't want to go to school with him. One day he just lost it. Dad, he......he raped me." I sod so hard that I couldn't look at him.

"Oh Bella," I heard him say. "I am so sorry. Come hear." I didn't walk over to his bed I ran. I went on the bed and snuggled up to him crying in his chest. Charlie and I never did this but he knew that I was upset and being the father that he is he contorted me. "I promise you that we will find him and he will go to jail. I promise you, Bella."

"Dad, I am so sorry that this happened to you. This is all my fault."

"No, Bella, it not. Its mine."

I was shocked. He thought it was his fault? "Why?"

"Because I knew that boy was trouble. Sure his family is nice but that does not mean anything."

"Dad really I am just glad that you are okay."

"I am glad your okay, Bella. And I am sorry that this happened to you."

"But now I have Edward." I looked you to see this reaction. He was looking down at me.

"You really love him don't you?"

"Yea dad. I do." I answered him honestly.

"Well then I would like to meet him. Officially."

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	8. The Meeting

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The Meeting

My dad wants to meet my boyfriend! This can not got go well.

"You.... want to meet...... my boyfriend?" I asked getting up to get a better look at him.

"Yea. I want to meet the boy my daughter is in love with." he responded with a smile.

Oh crap this can't be good! What if he doesn't like him? What if they fight! But I can't turn down my dad....

"Sure dad. Why not?" I said.

"Good, how about tomorrow? I will be out by then." His smile brightened.

"Sure, I should go tell Edward about the.....meeting." I ran out of the hospital room to Edward.

"How is he?" He asked.

"Good, but he wants to meet you. Officially that is." I told him.

"Oh, okay."

"Okay?"

"What you don't want me to meet your father?" he said with a grin.

"I want you to meet him. But I'm nervous."

"About?"

"You meeting my father."

"Don't worry about it. He'll love me." his smile widened. "When is it?"

"Tomorrow."

"Okay. I'll be their." he kissed me on the check. "I think you should stay with your dad a bit. So I am going to go. Call me if their is any trouble."

"Okay."

Then he was gone. Tomorrow will be a long day.

**:) :P :o**

The next day I spent all day preparing the meal. Since Charlie can't cook. Lucky for me I didn't have to call Edward for anything. And last night I was the first day in three weeks that I slept in my own bed. I have to say, I still love when I am with Edward.

"Wow Bells this smells amazing in here. What are you cooking?" Charlie asked.

"You favorite mashed potatoes and roast beef. It's also Edward."

"Really huh. I like this boy already. " he said with a chuckle.

"He should be hear soon."

A second later someone knocked at the door. I went to answer it and their was Edward. He was so handsome.

"Hey" he said with a kiss.

"Hey." I breathed.

"You think I look alright?" Why would he ask that question? He always looks great!

"You look fine. Come on." I pulled his hand and lead him into the living room. "Dad, this is Edward. Edward, this is my dad."

"Nice to meet you Mr. Swan." Edward said extending his hand.

"To meet you too, Edward." Charlie shook his had and I smiled. Maybe this will go well.

"Diners ready." I said.

Everyone went into the dinning room and down. I was sitting with Edward and Charlie sat across from us. Let the interrogation begin.

"So Edward your in senior like Bella, right?" Charlie asked while I was serving diner.

"Yes." Edward replied.

"Any plans for collage?"

"Yes, I want to go to Washington State or Harvard-oh thank you." He said when I gave him his food.

"Wow Harvard. What do you want to go their for?"

"I want to be a doctor. Like my father."

"A doctor?"

"Yes." he smiled.

For the longest time I thought that Charlie was done with Edward. But I was mistaken.

"So Bella has been spending a lot of time over your house. Like sleeping over?" Charlie said raising his eyebrows a little.

"Dad, its not that..." I said.

"Then what is it?" he asked

"I wanted Bella to stay at my house after the rape." Edward said defending himself.

"Oh, I see. So I can't protect my daughter?"

"No thats not what I meant. I meant to say that I felt a little more conferrable if Bella stayed with me since you didn't know what was going on."

Charlie stopped eating. And I prayed he would stop arguing with Edward. I was surprised thought. Edward was handling this pretty well. Charlie didn't say anything for a while. But how could he when Edward was telling the truth. Charlie didn't know what was happening. So how could he protect me?

"Your right," Charlie finally said. "I am sorry."

"Its fine. You were just worried about Bella. I would understand if you wouldn't want Bella to stay over any more."

I was about to protest when Charlie said something that surprised me. "No. I trust you. Both of you. Just come over once in a while, Bella."

"Of course, dad." I said with a smile.

"It won't be forever. Just until Mike is gone." I new what Edward meant by not forever. But I wanted it to be.

Diner was over and I promised Charlie on more night at home. Edward told me if anything happens to call him, Emmett, or Jasper. When he was gone I cleaned up and went to bed. The night wasn't as bad as I thought it would be....

_I was in my room. I got dressed and went to bed. About five minutes later their was a hand on my right breast. Someone was groping it. I opened my eyes to see the bright blue eyes. I opened my mouth to scream only to have lips pressed firmly on them. "I came to finish the job........._"

**Mwahahahahah!!! Sorry but I have to! I want to know what you think...so...REVIEW!!! Oh don't forget the poll on my profile! **

**LOVE YA**

**Edwardlover95**


	9. Stop

**HEYYY**

**OME I LOVED LOVED LOVED the reviews!!!! I am sorry but I had to. Oh once again my poll on my profile! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LOOK AT IT!!!! if you can't find it, its on the top of the page! Oh and once again I stink at grammar and stuff so just to warn you... I hope you like this chapter!**

**ENJOY!!!!**

Stop

_I was in my room. I got dressed and went to bed. About five minutes later their was a hand on my right breast. Someone was groping it. I opened my eyes to see the bright blue eyes. I opened my mouth to scream only to have lips pressed firmly on them. "I came to finish the job........._"

_His hand went to my pajama pants and rub me though them. I wanted to scream, but that would make it worse. Mike was getting a lot of pleasure out of this. "Good girl," he moaned. "Jake come here. This this her." Out of the blue a tall muscular man appeared of the darkness._

_"Yea man thats her. She more beautiful then I remembered." he said with a sigh. _

_"I told you I knew her. You want to help?" _

_"Yea." He started to kiss me all over. My eyes were closed, to scared to open them. The kissing and rubbing continued. Mike said that I had to much clothing on. He took my pants off first. Then the tall man did my shirt. They forgot one thing though. No one had my mouth covered. I screamed on the top off my lungs. Mike shook me, telling me to shut up. I opened my eyes, only Edward looking over me._

"Bella, what wrong?" he yelled.

"It was a dream. Just a dream." I culled up in a ball and rocked myself.

Edward held me in his arms. "Bella you have to tell what's going on in your dreams so I could help you."

I shocked my head.

"Bella...please. I hate seeing you like this. You have to tell me." I hated seeing him beg.

"It was Mike. He said he came to ' finish the job'. But someone was with him. This tall, dark man. Mike asked him if I was the girl he saw. But I never saw him. This man was like a boy though. He just looked like a man. I was so scared. It was just like the wear house." I shivered.

"Has their been more like this?"

"Yes."

"How many?"

"I don't know."

"I have to tell Charlie." He took his arm off my shoulders. I need him.

"Don't go. Not yet. Stay here with me. Please." I was so scared. I just need him with me.

"You know I can't say no to you." He smile. It was my smile. The one that always pulls me out of the darkness.

He put his arms around me again. I put my head on his chest. It felt like home. But how did he know?

"How did you know I was having a nightmare? How did you get in my room?"

He laughed. "I came to your house to see if you were okay. I saw you sleeping, but I still stayed. Then I saw you twist and turn so I climbed up to your window and snuck in."

"Oh," was all I could say.

"Yea. You would think that the chief of police would lock the windows in his house." He smiled again.

"Yea."

For a while we stayed just like that. I felt my eyes get heavy. Edward was humming a tune I never heard before. "What's that?" I asked lazily.

"Its your lullaby. I call it Bella's Lullaby."

"Hmm. I like it. Did you wright it?"

"Yes, I did. I am glad you like it."

"I love you, Edward." I whispered.

"I love you too, Bella. My Bella."

That night was the first real sleep I got in weeks. With Edward beside me I felt like nothing could go wrong. I just wished all of the nightmares would stop.

**Lol so it was a dream! Ahahahah I know mean right. I think everyone knows who the tall, dark man is right? But how does he know Bella?? We will have to see! Ahahah. Oh, remember to vote on my poll and to REVIEW! THANKS!**

**LOVE YA **

**Edwardlover95**


	10. The Past

**HEYY**

**OME thanks for the GREAT reviews! I am so happy people like this story! Okay it needs more drama and thats what it will get... I hope you like!!**

**ENJOY!!!**

The Past

I woke up in the arms of the most beautiful man ever. I closed my eyes, not ready for this feeling to end. I feel... love. I felt real love before, with my father, but not with anyone outside my family. Mike hit me and he was my only boyfriend I had. But he never showed me love. Edward is the only one I have ever said I loved and truly loved. I was so happy. But the pain and questions of that dream came back once more. Who was that other man? How did he know me? Why can't I get over this feeling and just be with Edward? Simple I can't stop think that he is still out there looking for me. When I closed my eyes all I saw was Mike's face. And it scared me to death. I opened them and was starring at the Greek God I loved so deeply.

"Morning beautiful," he said nuzzling my nose. 

"Mmmm. Morning," I said taking in his smell.

"I was thinking how about I plan a special night for us. You have been though so much I want you enjoy yourself tonight. With me," he smiled.

I got my face close to his, "I would love that." I kissed him deeply.

He pulled away and had the sexiest look on his face, "Save that for later." He got up and went to his closet to pick out his clothes. "I am going to make our reservations at the best restaurant in town. And you can't say no."

"Fine!" I took the covers and put them over my head.

Edward chuckled. I could hear his foot steps as he came closer to the bed. He sat on the bed and pulled the cover off of my head. "I know you will love it." He kissed me again, making me smile against his lips. He pulled away to soon.

"What!?" I putted. "Why did you pull away?"

He smiled again. "Because, as I said before, save it for later believe me... your going to need it." What did he mean by ' you'll need it for later'? I guess I would find out later. "I want you to go out with Alice-"

I cut him off with a moan.

"Oh come on it will be fun. Just do some girl things. I told her no shopping just a day at the spa."

I moaned again.

"What wrong with the spa?"

"Its so..ugh."

"Please it will be over before you know it. Then it will be just you and me. Okay?"

"Okay." in a defeated tone

"Good. Now go get dresses and meet Alice downstairs." He kissed my forehead and went into the bathroom.

I got up and out of bed. I chose a blue shirt and low rise jeans. I was going to get naked anyway, right? Edward walked out and stopped suddenly after he saw me. "What?"

"I so can't wait till tonight." he growled in a sexy way.

I smiled and walked over to kiss him. "Neither can I. But I have to go. Your sister is waiting."

As I walked away he growled again. I loved that I could do that to him.

I got down stairs to Alice. "Ready to go?"

"What are you wearing?" she asked.

"Clothes?"

"Oh no those are not clothes. Lets go pick out another outfit."

"Alice we are going to the spa! Lets just go."

I dragged he out of the house, with her yelling at the top of her lungs about how my outfit was not good. "For a small pixie you are so annoying!" I said when we got in the car.

"But you love me as a sister."

"True," I said with a little laugh.

We talked the whole ride up. Alice was really like my sister. The sister I never had. The sister I always wanted. We mostly talked about Edward. But I seance that Alice had to tell me something that was not Edward related. "Alice, are you okay?"

"I need to tell you something," she said.

"Okay." She pulled the car over.

"I didn't really tell my whole story." she said.

I was so confused, "What are you saying Alice."

"I was adopted by the Cullen's. I am not really Edward's sister. I was adopted when I was five. My parents died when I was three from a drunk driver. I was the only one who survived." Alice looked like she was about to cry.

"I am so sorry Alice." I gave her a big hug. I hated seeing her upset.

"I bet your wondering why I told you that," she asked laughing and whipping her tears. "Well, I am dating Jasper. Edward's real brother, not mine."

"Oh my God!! Alice, I couldn't even tell! Are you two going out?"

"Thats the thing. I don't know how to tell Edward. But thats when you when you come in. Can you help me?"

"I don't know, Alice. How can I tell him when you just told me?"

"I don't know? He loves you he will not yell at you!"

"He loves you too! You are still his sister even though not biologically."

"I know. Fine. I will tell him."

"Good. But not tonight. Tonight its my night with Edward!"

"Thats right! We better get you dolled up!" She smiled and waged her eyebrows.

I hit her, "Lets go!"

Talked about Jasper the whole way. I am glad that Alice told me. Now I don't feel bad talking about Edward. The car ride went by so fast with the talking. We pulled up to a beautiful building. it looked like a hotel not a spa! It was huge! "Lets go!" Alice squealed.

We got out and walked arm in arm laughing to the door. Alice was my one true friend.

"Hello ladies," said a gentleman at the door. "How can I help you?"

"We have appointment. The last name is Cullen."

The man typed the name into the computer. "Oh here we are. Miss. Alice Cullen? Right?"

"Yes." replied Alice.

"Follow me." He lead us to the locker room doors. "This is the ladies locker room. When you go in a woman will be waiting to give you a locker and robe. Have a nice day."

"Thank you," we said together.

We walked in the locker room. Behind the door was a dim lit room that smelled like vanilla candles . It had relaxing music playing and tropical plants all over.

"Hello," said a woman at the door. "Follow me." She took us to our lockers and showed us how to use them and handed us our robes. She said that I was getting a facial and my hair and make up done. Perfect. She told us to have a good day and left us. But now I didn't know what to do.

"Alice?" I asked

"Mmm,"

"Now what?"

She looked at me like I had three eyes, "You never went to a spa?"

"No."

She sighed, "Okay get changed, put your stuff in the locker and then go to that door over their," She pointed to the door on the far left. "Thats the door that will take you to the lobby to wait for your facial."

I nodded.

I did what she said. I walked into the lobby. It wasn't as bright as the locker room. It had the same smell and music. I walked over to the bench and waited to be called.

"Bella Swan?" I heard a woman say.

"Yes?"

"Follow me."

She also took me to a room. But a bit smaller. And just as dim. "Lay down on the table please."

I got up and on the table. The lady put cream on my face and told me to close my eyes. I did and saw Edward's face. I drifted from then on.

**:) :( : o**

"Miss? Miss?" I opened my eyes to the lady I saw before I went to sleep. "Your facial is over. Now you can get your hair done."

"Oh, thank you." I walked out and went to salon.

Another lady was waiting for me, "Hello Miss. Swan. Ready to get your hair done." She was a little perky.

"Yes."

She took me by the hand and sat me down in the chair "Okay what are we to do with this hair? Oh I know! Would you like for your hair to be curled?"

I thought for a moment. I did want to look good for Edward, "Sure. Curls are good."

"Good. Sara, you can get stared on her make up now."

A short blonde girl walked over with a wheeling make up kit. I started to like this... a bit.

Getting my hair and make up done was faster then the facial. I loved my hair! I hoped Edward would. My make up was good. Alice would want to approve. Speaking of Alice were was she? I looked all over. "Alice? Alice?" I walked in to the room with a big pool. I found her "Alice come on! Edward wants me to meet him soon!"

She sighed, "Bella, come on! Have some fun."

"Alice I want to see Edward!" I sounded like a big baby. But I missed him. I haven't seen him in two hours.

"Fine. I want to see Jasper any way!"

She got changed quickly. "Come on, Juliet." she said taking me back to the car. What a wonderful day. Hopefully a wonderful night!

**WOW really long! Okay I thought that Bella needed to relax a bit. Also I needed DRAMA! Okay I want a lot of reviews please!!! The next one I want to put up for Valentines Day! THANKS! OME IT IS SNOWING SO MUCH!!! OH again look at my poll and REVIEW!**


	11. Not Ready

**HEYYYY**

**Okay I am sorry about the grammar, once again, so I need a beta! So if someone could tell me how I could get one that would be great!!! THANKS!! OH HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!! I hope you like this chapter!!**

**ENJOY!!!**

Not Ready

We got home early so Alice said she was going to meet Jasper and tell him how she feels. We had a talk in the car about it. She was scared at first but then she was ready to tell him the truth.

"Good luck," I said.

"Thanks," she said in a nervous voice.

When she gone I went upstairs to get ready for my date with Edward. I went in the room to find rose petals all over the floor and on the bed. In the middle of the bed was a note. I opened it and saw Edward' beautiful hand writing. It read:

**Dear Bella, **

**I can't wait to see you tonight. I left you this note and others to tell you how to get to me for the date. Follow the instructions and you will see what I have planed for tonight. Go into the bathroom and look at what is hanging in the shower. **

**Love,**

**'**

**Edward**

Wow Edward was more romantic then I thought. I walked over to the bathroom and looked in the shower. Hanging was a a baby blue dress. It was amazing. On the dress was another note. It read:

**My Dearest Bella,**

**I hope you like the dress. I know you always tell me not to buy you things, but I didn't buy it. Alice did. I can't wait to see you in it. Now get ready and go outside. I have a surprise for you.**

**Love,**

**Edward**

It was so like Alice to pick out what I would wear. I had to say she did know what would look good on me. I loved how the dress actually looked good on me. I did my make up and hair in a hurry. I wanted to see the surprise. I usually hate them, but I was excited about this one. Maybe it would be Edward.

I ran downstairs and went outside. I froze. It was a black limo. A man, in a black suit and hat, was holding the door open. "Hello, Miss Swan," he said.

"Hello," I said.

"A Mr. Edward Cullen sent me. He told me to give you this and put this on you." The man handed me another note and a blindfold. "He said for you to read it first." I did. It said:

**My Bella,**

**I wish I was there to see your face. I sent the limo to take you to me. I made the driver give you a blindfold so you don't see anything. I can't wait to see you.**

**Love ,**

**Edward**

I sighed and got in the limo. I was really hoping it was Edward. I put the blindfold on and waited to see wear the driver was taking me. About a half an hour later the driver stopped. "Were here," he said. "You can take the blindfold off. Here is the other letter." He handed me the letter.

**Bella,**

**This will be the last letter I promise. Walk down to the beach. I love you, always.**

**Edward**

I thanked the driver and got out of the limo. The pathway to the beach was covered in roses. I smiled and walked the rose covered path. I got halfway though the beach when I saw a hut. I walked faster to get to it. When I did I looked to find Edward. He was at the bottom wear the water was. "Edward," I whispered. As if he had vampier hearing he turned around. I once again saw my favorite crooked smile. We ran to each other. I could wait to kiss him to hold him. It was almost a whole day that I haven't seen him. So when he was finally with me I felt home.

"Bella," he whispered in my ear. "I love you. And you look beautiful tonight."

"You don't look half bad yourself." I replied into his chest. Edward laughed.

"Thank you," He pulled away and I moaned at the lost of contact. He laughed again. He took me by the hand and lead me to a a table. In the center was a gold rose.

"What is this?" I asked.

"A Gold Rose. It never dies. Like my love for you." I almost cried at his words. He really did love me.

"Oh, Edward, I love you too!" I put my hands around his neck and pulled him into a deep embrace. The kiss lasted along time. But we had to pull away to breath.

"Lets go eat," he said. We went to the table and had a great meal. "Bella, I want to show you something." He took me to the hut. The inside had a bed.

"Oh," I said. I knew what it meant. He wanted to have sex.

"We don't have to if you don't want to," he told me. It was so like Edward to tell me that.

"No, I want to. Really." I said.

"Are you sure?" he asked again.

I walked closer to him, "I am so sure." I kissed him to let him know I was serious. I wanted this. I wanted him. "Please, Edward." I said against his lips. As if my words were magic, Edward was kissing me roughly. He lead us carefully to the bed and laid us down. He started to lick my bottom lip asking for me to open my mouth. I opened it, letting him in. He tasted sweet. I love the way he tasted on my lips. He pulled away to breath, but I wanted more of him. I turned us over so I was on top of him. I carefully undid the buttons of his shirt. I might have been going to slow for Edward though because he gently took my hands off his shirt and ripped his shirt off. My lips meet hungrily with his. I moaned into his mouth.

He pulled away and looked in to my eyes, "I love that sound," he moaned. He flipped us back over so he was on top. He took my dress off and thru it. He unclasped my bra and went to my right breast. He messaged it, it felt so good it made me moan. He did the same with my left. I felt him suddenly kiss down my stomach. He was at my panties now. So close to wear I wanted him most. He took my underwear off painfully slow.

"Edward," I moaned.

When they were off he started to lick my center. "God, Bella, your so wet for me." It suddenly hit me. Edward almost said the same thing as Mike did when he raped me. I got the memory back.

"Get off of me!" I screamed. "Get away! HELP SOMEONE HELP!!!" I sobbed thinking it was happening again. My eyes were shut, but I felt weight shift over me.

"Bella? Bella I am sorry. Did I hurt you? Bella, tell me what's wrong." I heard Edward start to get upset.

"Help," I said "he going to rape me again."

"Oh, Bella. I will not let that happen. I knew it was to soon for you." He held me in his arms, trying to keep me calm. "Sh, Bella. It will be okay."

"Don't ever leave me, Edward. Stay with me." I begged.

"Forever," he said and he began to sing my lullaby.

**AWAWAW!!! Okay I am going to something different for like two chapters so wait and see!!! Sooo what is going to happen with Bella? Is Edward okay? And when will Mike come back?? Soooo many questions! LOL Wait and see!! OH i almost have 100 reviews PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU... REVEW!! AHAH ALSO the 100 reviewer will get to know what the 2 chapters are about! **

**LOVE YA**

**Edwardlover95**


	12. Not Ready EPOV

**OME finally!! I got to 100 reviews!! I want to thank everyone who reviewed!! A very big thanks to spuody3015 who was my 100 reviewer and got the inside scoop on this and the next chapter! Like I said they are a bit different. I also got a BETA!!! I really like her she has good ideas and good a grammar! Its Bo-my-whistiling-monkey! The results of the poll will close soon so please vote if you didn't yet! I really hope you like it and keep the reviews coming they put a smile on my face! And believe me I need to smile! LOL **

**ENJOY!!!**

Not Ready EPOV

When Bella left with Alice I had to get everything ready. I called the limo company, and told Jasper and Emmett to get the beach set up. Bella needed a good night. That's what I plan to give her. I wrote all the notes that would lead her to me. The first would be in the middle of the bed covered in rose petals. The second would be on the beautiful dress that I made Alice pick out. I love the color blue on her. It would hang in the shower. Another would be with the limo driver that i would send to take her to the beach. I wish I could see her face. The way her little mouth would hang open in shock. I makes me laugh just thinking about it. She would have to be blind folded so she couldn't see anything. I want it to be a surprise. After she got here the limo driver would give her another note, telling her to walk down to the beach to meet me. Oh, how i can't wait to see her face. Tonight will be beautiful. It should be...for her.

"Do you really think she would like this? It's not to soon?" I asked Jasper. "After everything that happened?"

"Edward, it's been a while. She should be fine. Trust me." His sounded so sure. I hoped he was right.

I dressed in my best outfit. I knew Bella wasn't one of those girls who liked fancy things, but I wanted to dress the best I could for her. She always makes me feel like I should be better. I want to be better. When I was done getting changed I went to the beach to make sure the hut was set up perfectly. I also set a table so we could eat. Jasper once told me about these golden roses. He said they never die, so I thought it was perfect for me and Bella. Our love would never hut looked great. It was decorated beautifuly! I had to thank Emmett and Jasper for this later.

I checked my watch, in anticipation. She should be here soon. I went to the ocean to calm my nervous. I want to do this. I wanted Bella to be the first one I experienced this with. Forget about the sex part. I just wanted Bella. I needed her. I don't care about what happened with Mike. I loved Bella and even though that happened, it means nothing to me. My love for her has never changed. From the moment I saw her, I knew she was the one for me. The way she walked and talked. Her voice was like a musical sound that I never wanted to stop playing. She was my Bella. She will always be my Bella. "Edward?" A soft whisper took me out of my day dream of Bella to the real Bella. I turned around to see my angel in the blue dress I helped Alice pick out. Her hair was blowing in the wind. She was beautiful. All I did was run to her. I needed to feel her. It felt like forever.

"Bella," I said when she was finally in my arms again. "I love you. And you look beautiful tonight."

"You don't look so bad yourself," she replied into my chest. I chuckled. _My _Bella.

"Thank you," I replied pulling away to look at her beautiful face. I heard a little whimper from her. I had to laugh again. I took her hand and lead her to the table.

"What's this?" She was looking at the golden rose.

"Its a golden rose. It never dies. Like my love for you." I told her the truth. I knew that after the rape she would think that I didn't love her anymore. That will never in a million years happen. She needed to know that.

I saw little tears about to form and I knew she finally understood. "Oh Edward, I love you too!" Her hands went around my neck pulling me in. The kiss lasted forever. I never wanted it to end, but I needed to breathe, plus we needed to eat.

"Lets go eat." The meal was great. I also had to thank Esme. Now was my time to show her the hut. It was now or never. "Bella, I want to show you something." I took her hand again and lead her to the hut. She saw the bed.

"Oh," she said in realization.

"We don't have to if you don't want to." I wanted her to be okay with this.

"No, I want to. Really."

"Are you sure?" She had to be positive that this was what she wanted.

She walked over to me. "I am so sure." She kissed me. "Please, Edward." Her lips were so close to mine. I couldn't say no to her. Even though it was what I wanted. I kissed her roughly. I lead us to the bed carefully. I needed more. I licked her bottom lip and asked for entrance. She opened her mouth and let my tongue slip though. She tasted like strawberries. I broke away to breathe. In about two seconds Bella flipped us over so she was on top. She started to undo the buttons of my shirt painfully slow. I gently pushed her hands away and just ripped the shirt off of me. She put her lips on mine and moaned into my mouth.

I pulled away again to look into her eyes. "I love that sound," I moaned. I flipped us back, so she was under me. I started to take off her dress. Once it was off I threw it somewhere. I took off her bra, and went to her right breast. I kissed it, and she moaned again. I loved that I could make her feel this way. I went to her left and did the same thing. I trailed kisses down her stomach to her panties. I knew that she wanted me to go down further to her core, but I wanted to tease her. I took of her panties slowly and saw her squirm.

"Edwaaarrrd," she moaned.

Once they were off I started to lick her center. She was so wet. "God, Bella, you're so wet for me." When she heard my words she started to scream.

"Get off me!" she shrieked. "GET AWAY FROM ME!! HELP ME, SOMEONE!!" I hated seeing her cry. I got off of her and went to her side. It made my heart break to hear her sob this hard.

"Bella? Bella, I am sorry. Did I hurt you? Bella, tell me what's wrong." I put my arms around her to calm her down. She looked so broken. My broken angel.

"Help," she said, "He's going to to rape me again!" That asshole! He was the reason why my Bella was was so scared and afraid. I was going to keep her safe no matter what! I was right. It was to soon for her.

"Oh, Bella, I will never let that happened. I knew it was to soon for you. Shh, Bella, it's okay."

"Don't leave me, Edward. Stay with me," she begged.

"Forever." And I began to hum her lullaby. I will keep that promise till I take my last breath.

**It is shorter then Bella's version but I didn't know what Edward should do when she was gone! I never had a chapter that was EPOV in this story! Tell me how I did. Oh the golden rose is real! They are really dipped in gold and never die! SO COOL! The quote the end is really corny I know! lol Once again review!! THANKS!!**

**LOVE YA**

**Edwardlover95 **


	13. How I Met Her MPOV

**WOW!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS!! Okay I really have to thank my beta! She is awesome!! I am glad you liked the chapter! My birthday was that weekend so the reviews were great birthday presents! I hope you like this chapter. Remember it's different then the others!**

**ENJOY!!!**

How I Met Her MPOV

The days were passing. The nights werelong without Bella.

That stupid Cullen has her. I wish I could make her see that I wasn't the bad guy. I just wanted her to be with me. Yes, I did rape her, but I wanted her to be with me. I was ready to be with her. She wasn't, so I did what I had to do. I wanted her to be mine, and nobody was going to have her. I wanted to show her that I loved her. Instead I scared her way, into the arms of that Cullen kid. Oh, how I wish he was dead.

I was on my own for a bit. Until I met a guy with the same amount of love for Bella as I had. His name was Jacob. I met him on the internet. We talked, and he told me about this girl he saw walking around. He said she was so fragile looking and had the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen. I knew he was talking about Bella. I started to tell him about me and Bella, and what happened. I told him what I was doing to get her back. He said he would help if I promised him one night with her. I did. When I first saw Jacob I was glad to have him as a partner in crime. He was bigger then Cullen, so I knew I had some muscle on my side. So now, we are in the same wear-house I raped Bella in working on a plan on how to get her back.

"He never leaves her!" Jacob said. He was right. Edward never lets Bella leave his side. He is always around, and when we went to see if he was gone while she slept, he was there.

"I know. We have to think about how we can get the whole family out. They're around her a lot as well," I said.

Jacob nodded in agreement. The whole family was around her. Trying to keep her safe. Yea right! She would be happier with me!

"Hey Jake?"

"Yea."

"How did you really see Bella?" I always wondered. "You never gave me the whole story."

"Oh," he said, rubbing his chin. " Well, I was out walking one day, when I saw a girl walking home from school. She was carrying her books close to her chest. She looked scared and sweet. I loved how her hair would blow in the wind. She was a goddess. I was mesmerized by her beauty. I wanted more. I started to follow her around, and she never knew. I would be their when she walked out of her house and when she came home. I was their when she went upstairs to get changed too. I loved her.."

"I never saw you around her, and I was with her all the time." I never remembered a guy following her around. And a guy as big as Jacob, how can you miss him?

"I had to stop before she ever found out. I took a break. I tried to find her online, but I never found her. She was so mysterious to me. That's what made her hot." Bella was never the type who would have a Facebook or a Myspace. She was very cautious. "So when you described Bella for me, I knew it was her. I wanted to help. But I also wanted to have my share of her." He winked.

I laughed. Guys would always fall for Bella. He body, her lips, and the way she would blush, were all things they fantasized about. Jake was right, she was a goddess. "I'm glad you wanted to help me. Now we have to come up with a plan."

Jacob got very serous. "Right."

We got to work on a plan. I wanted to have a diversion for Cullen, but Jake thought he would just take Bella with him. We spent hours on coming up with a plan. Nothing was working.

"Why can't we just take her?" Jake asked.

"Because he would know. We need to-" I was cut off by a brilliant Idea. "I GOT IT!"

"What?"

"You'll see." The plan will start now.

**AHAHAH you can't see the plan yet. lol Sorry, but it had to be done. Once again it is short. Anyway, the poll will go down at the end of the month, so if you have not voted, vote NOW! Thanks for reading and don't forget to REVIEW!!**

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**Edwardlover95**


	14. The Unpredictable

**HEY!!! OME I have 101 story alerts!! I have been getting a lot of alerts and favorites, but not a lot of REVIEWS!! PLEASE REVIEW!! Okay this is a normal one. I hope you like it!! **

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The Unpredictable

It has been a week since the "almost sex". I can not believe this happened! I wanted that more then anything in the world, but he got in my head! UGH I HATE HIM! It wasn't suppose to be like this. Edward and I were suppose to have a romantic night together. Be together. But no, I had to go crazy and flip out. It killed me to hear his voice so... pained. I can still hear his calming voice. I can still feel him holding me. I wanted to have sex with him so much. But I know I screwed up any chance of that happening again. Knowing Edward, he would never put me through that unless I was really ready. I was ready. I still am.

"Hey, Bella." I heard a high pitched voice. Alice. I loved her to death, but not now. No shopping.

"Alice, not now. Please," I begged her.

"What?" her face looked confused, "I wanted to walk you to school. Thats all," she put her arm around me. Ugh, school. I feel like I haven't been there in forever. "Are you okay?"

"Yea." I didn't want to go back. I wanted to stay home and have Edward hold me all day. But I had to go to school. Great. I suddenly realized what school meant. Mike. No one outside the Cullen's and my family knew about the rape. What was I going to do?

Alice had the same look of concern on her face, "Bella, what is it? Tell me."

"Mike," I croaked.

"Oh. OH! EDWARD!!"

"No! Alice, its just that he is at school, and nobody out of your family, or mine, knows about this. I'm scared. What if it happens again?" I was on the verge of tears. It can't happen again.

"Oh, Bella. We will not let it happen. I promise. If it ever happened again Emmett would kill Mike. He thinks of you as part of the family. Like his sister," Alice put her hands on my shoulders.

"I know Alice, but-" I was cut off my the screaming of my name.

"BELLA! BELLA!" It was Edward.

"Alice, now look what you did."

"Sorry," she said meekly.

Edward was a worrywart. He wanted me safe. I know that, but he over does it sometimes. "Edward, I am fine. Alice just flipped out over something." I shot her a look.

She put her head down.

"Okay," he said with a sigh and a kiss. I could tell he was worried. He doesn't kiss me the same as he did before the sex thing. I miss it.

"Edward, really I am okay. Your with me." I smiled at the last part. He was with me. He will be with me forever. I put on my best fake smile, "Okay, lets get to school."

We went to the car hand in hand, Edward and I. I didn't want to be away from him. Alice sat in the back while I sat up front with Edward. His hand was stroking my leg, making me groan a little. Once he heard it, he pulled his hand away. I didn't want him to stop! Why did he stop!? It made me confused. I had to tell him that I was okay. It was a little to soon, but he didn't have to pull away every time I groaned. We pulled up to the school. Just looking at it gave me the same memories as before. The ones of being pushed up against the lockers if something was not right. Or being punched in the stomach for not dressing right. It make me shiver a little. Edward turned to me and put his hands on my face. He looked at me with loving eyes and kissed me. Still, not the same way as before. "Ready?" he whispered on my lips.

I just nodded. Was I ready? I didn't want him to hear my voice. For I feared it would show my lie. I got out of the car, and looked around to see if I could find Mike. I was turning my head in different directions to see if he was behind me or next to me. It scared me that I might see him again. For all I know he could try to take me away again. With that thought I ran to Edward and griped his jacket.

"Bella?" His face looked concerned. "Are you sure your ready for this? I can take you home now."

What was I to say? _Yes, Edward take me home now. I don't want to be here. I'd rather be at home with you all day. It scares me that I might come face to face with that boy again. Take me home now!! _ He would never let me out again! "No. I am fine. Really."

"Thats what you said before." I knew he was talking about the sex thing again. Why can't he get over it!? It was really making me mad.

"Look, Edward, I sorry I ruined the perfect night. I really thought I was ready for it, but it was too soon. I still want to be with you, but I need time. What happened in the wear house is still in my head. I can't get it out. All I am asking is that you give me that much. I am sorry and if you can't forgive me then forget that it happened!" I stormed off. I was mad that he did not understand what was going on. He could be so self-centered sometimes. I didn't care that something could happen. I needed to get away. I didn't look back to see if Edward was following me. Instead I went straight to my class. I didn't care about Mike in that moment. I just went to class.

When it was over I went to the lunchroom and found Alice sitting at the lunch table. I looked around for Edward, but I couldn't find him. I went to the table and sat next to Alice. "Hey, were is Edward? I have to apologize."

Her eyes went big. I followed her gaze. It was Edward and Jessica. Jessica was the slut in the school. I new she wanted Edward since the moment he came to this school, and she hated me for being with him. They were arm in arm. Edward looked liked he... liked it? I was confused and mad. I went storming into the girls room. I started to cry. I don't know why, but I did.

Life is unpredictable.

**Did you like it? Once again I am sorry for the delay. I had a lot to do. I hope you liked it and please don't hate me about the whole Jessica and Edward thing. I wanted to tell you about the WINNER from the poll. It was Edward and Bella on the Titanic!!! It is up and ready for you to read!! THANKS AGAIN!! Also, check out the new story I am co-writing with Bo-My-Whistling-Monkey!**

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**Edwardlover95**


	15. Heartbreak

**Heyyy**

**Okay this late....again. But I have been doing a lot of stuff, so I am sorry. I wanted to say thanks for the reviews they really made me smile. I want to thank my beta because if she was not as great as she is then this would be full of grammar mistakes. lol I hope you like this chapter and that it was worth the wait! **

**ENJOY**

Heartbreak

I came out of the bathroom with red, blotchy eyes. I was sobbing. How could Edward do such a thing? What did I do to him that made him go to Jessica? I hated it! Life is not fair. I cleaned myself up and went out the door. I checked the hallways to see if Mike was there. No sign of him. I walked out, and was still hypersensitive of my surroundings. I went to the lunchroom and sat next to Alice. Edward was not in there either. I looked around again to see where Jessica was. She was not there. Where could they be? "Alice," I asked. "Have you seen Edward?"

"No. When you left, he left with Jessica," she said.

"That slut!" I said under my breath. "Do have any idea where they could be?"

"Maybe on the football feild?"

"Thanks." I ran to the football feild. I prayed to God that Edward was not there, but to my surprise, and dismay, he was.

They were on the bleachers laughing. She was really close to him. He did not seam to mind it either. They were whispering and eating lunch. I felt like I was going to be sick. Before I knew it, she was moving closer trying to kiss him. Her lips touched his. I wanted to run up there and pull out her hair and punch her, but my feet would not move. I was stuck. After what seamed like a lifetime, they pulled apart. Edward caught my eye, stood up and screamed my name, but I did not hear him. I was out of it. I turned and walked away. I never wanted to see his face again. I could not cry, it still seamed way to unreal. I went to my truck and drove home. I was never going back to school. EVER!

**:) :( :P :o**

When I got home I went upstairs and put on my favorite pyjamas. I hopped in bed and began to cry. I fell asleep and decided I did not care if Mike came. Without Edward, my life did not matter, and since he did not love me anymore, I was ready to die. The dream was different then any other dream I had before. I was in a white gown and walking down a flower covered walk way. It was almost like Edward's date. I was walking, but I could not see what I was walking to, because of a strange mysterious, yet beautiful, fog. It was a long walk, but I soon saw the figure of a man in a black tux. I thought it was Edward and I wanted to run to him, but my dream soon turned into a nightmare. On the other side was not Edward, but Mike. He was smiling, and looked happy to see me frightened. I could not pull away. I tried to run, but I couldn't. I got to where he was, he looked at me with a loving look in his eyes, but he was anything and everything but loving. "You look good enough to eat," he whispered, but somehow manged to make it sound like a threatining growl, in my ear. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare, but before I knew it, I was married to Mike in my dream. The rape flashed before my eyes. Then I finally woke up.

I was drenched in sweat, and my covers were all over the place. I was not going to sleep tonight. Wait.. it was not even 9:00 yet. I groaned and when to look for my cell phone. HOLY SHIT! 23 MISSED CALLS, ALL FROM ONE PERSON... Edward. I was never going to talk to him. He broke my heart into a million pieces. I do not care what he has to say. I then realized it was not just calls, he left voice mails, text messages, and IM's. He would not leave me alone. I knew Alice was wondering where I was. I had to tell someone. I called Alice to see if she knew what happened, and if Edward had said anything. She picked up on the first ring. "Bella where are you? Are you okay? Did-" she rambled.

"Alice I am fine," I cut in. "Well, not really."

"What's wrong?" She did not know.

"I..um..I..." I could not say it. It was to hard.

"What, Bella?"

"I saw Edward kissing Jessica." I said it fast, so I would never have to say his name again.

"WHAT!?!?!?" she screamed.

"Don't make me say it again." I began to cry. It was too much for me. As soon as I give someone my heart, they stomp on it, and it turns into heartbreak.

"Oh, Bella. I am so sorry. Believe me I am going to kill Ed-"

"Please, don't say his name. I can not hear it. It hurts to much."

"Okay. Do you need anything. Want me to come over?"

"No. I want to be alone."

"Okay. Call me if you need anything."

"Okay. Oh and Alice?"

"Yea?"

"Do not tell him I called, or tell him anything else."

"Okay, Bella. Bye."

"Bye."

I was alone. I was in my house all alone, and Mike was somewhere out there. Waiting for me. I was scared. But I had to do this. I need to be strong. Tomorrow I will go in school, and just ignore him. I will come straight home and lock all the doors and windows in my house. That would be good. But I wanted to be with _him. _No, Bella. Get him out of you mind. You hate him. I sighed.

It was getting late, well not really. I left a note for Charlie, to tell him I was staying home and that everything was okay. Even though they were not okay. I locked the doors and windows, and tried to sleep.

**:) :( :p :o :I**

I did not sleep at all. The nightmares came back. It was an exhausting night. The worst part was that I was so used to waking up with Edward. Now I was alone. I lost the one person I knew I could not live without. Now he was gone. I looked at the clock. GRRRRR! 7:40. I have get ready for the worst school day ever. I put on sweats and a shirt. Who was there to impress? No one. I went downstairs and smelled... pancakes?? Since when did Charlie cook? "Hey Bella!" screamed Charlie. "I made pancakes." It did not look like it. The pancakes were black. "Well, I tried. Since it is your first day back I wanted to make you something to eat."

"Thanks dad, but I am not hungry." I lied.

"Oh, well do you want me to put them in a bag? Maybe Edward will eat them." That STUPID name. My heart felt like it took a bullet just by hearing it again.

"He doesn't like pancakes." I said.

"Oh," He looked sad. I had to make him feel better. He did do all of this for me.

"How about I bring them to lunch. Who knows, maybe Emmett will eat them." I tried to smile. For Charlie.

"Okay." He put the Pancakes in a Tupperware container and put it into a paper bag. "Have a good day."

"Thanks, dad. I will probably come home today."

"Okay, see you then." I called leaving the house.

I went to my car and put on sad music. I was in a depressed mood and this is what I put on. I took the long drive to school. It felt even longer without Edward to talk to. When I pulled up to school Edward was standing were I usually parked. I did not want to talk to him. I looked for another parking spot. Nothing. Shit! I went to my usual place, with Edward standing in the middle. I parked, and when I got out I was bombarded by Edward. "Bella, can I talk to you?" he asked.

"What do we need to talk about, Edward?" I said sharply.

"What you saw. It was not what it looked like."

"Oh really Edward. You weren't kissing Jessica?" The ice and sarcasm in my voice was hard to miss.

"I was, but she kissed me. Besides, Tyler said he saw you with Eric."

What was he talking about. I knew Eric liked me, and so did Tyler, but I was never with them. "What? I was never with them. I have not talked to them since I broke up with Mike."

"Oh," he put his head down.

"Edward," I sighed. It still killed with me to say his name. "We... we need to take a break."

His head snapped up. "Bella, no. It was a mistake. I love you. And what about Mike. You could get hurt, and... and I would kill myself if anything happened to you." I could tell he was trying not to cry... Damn him, he practically kills me and now I'm going to feel sorry for him. I needed to get out of there before I caved and took him back. I wouldn't be able to stand any more heartbreak.

"I just need some time. I am sorry." I turned and walked away, but Edward's hand grabbed mine.

"Bella, please. I cannot live without you." Tears formed in my eyes. I hated seeing him like this, but we need to be apart a while. I needed to think, and that was hard with him two feet away...

"Bye, Edward." I kissed him one last time on the cheek and walked to my English class.

In class we were working on poems. We had to write one and turn it in for a grade.

Our love was different from any other.

We were meant to be, but it was torn apart.

The one thing that brought me happiness is gone because of you.

My heart is broken.

I do not know if I could love again.

I know we were meant to be, but now I can do is wonder where we went wrong.

My poem is about heartbreak.

***hiding* Do not kill me. You will see what happens. I wrote the poemthing, it is not really a poembecause I am in heartbreak right now so I had to write something. I hope you liked it. REVIEW!!!**

**LOVE YA,**

**Edwardlover95**


	16. Alone

**Heyyy **

**Really long wait I know! Sorry. The reviews have been great! I love them! They make me feel like I am a good writer lol! Anyway how about the New Moon preview!!! OMFE!!! I so cannot wait! lol!!! If their is any theater lovers out their go and lesion to the musical BAT BOY!! OME it is about a girl who falls in love with a boy who is half bat and half boy. In one song called "Inside Your Heart" she wants him to change her into what he is, but he does not want to change her. He even says his hunger is getting out of control! JUST LIKE TWILIGHT LOL!! (Random I know!) Okay I hope you like!**

**ENJOY!!! **

Alone

First day without him was okay. Second day was a little bit harder. Third day I wanted to kill myself. He was the only thing that made me happy. It was about two weeks now. I see him now and then, and my heart sinks because he looks so sad. I wish I could make it better, but the sadness he put upon me was worse. He kissed a girl who we both hated and then had the nerve to believe that I would be with Eric. When it fact the only person I would want with me was Edward. His love is all I need.

Alice told me that he had been mopping around the house, hasn't gotten any sleep, and doesn't eat. It's like he is a vampire. She says he stays in his room and never gets out. It kills me to hear this, but I have to stay strong. Charlie was pissed when I told him. He thought Edward was a good boy. He said I made the right choice. If I made the right choice, then why do I feel so bad? Why, whenever I see Edward I want to run to him and tell him I am a stupid girl who doesn't deserve him?

I still love him; thats why.

It's Friday night and I have nothing to do. Maybe I should do some homework? Wait, now I sound stupid! As though she could see that I was bored out of my mind, Alice called. "HI, BELLA!" she squealed

"Hey, Alice," I said.

"So, are you doing anything tonight?"

"No, not really. I was going to-"

She cut me off with another high pitched squeal. "Good, because there is a party tonight at Lauren's house! You want to come??"

"I don't know, Alice. What if your brother is there, or Mike?" I got nervous about the last one.

"No no no, silly Bella! Edward is too sad to be going out, and Mike has not been in school for weeks! COME ON, PLEASE!!!!"

Wow, she really wanted to go to this thing. I should have some fun. Right? "Sure."

Another loud squeal. "YAYYYYYYY!!! I will pick you up in twenty minutes."

Knowing Alice it would not be twenty minutes. It would be five because it would take her fifteen minutes for her to pick out an outfit for me. Apparently my sense of style sucks. I heard a knock at the door and there Alice was with a makeup kit and something for my hair.

"Come on, the party starts in an hour and I want you to look good cuz you have to get over my brother!" She dragged me by my hand upstairs and locked the door so I couldn't leave.

"Alice, do we really need to do this? Besides, I don't know if I can get over your brother yet. I really loved him." I have not said his name out loud in two weeks. My father called him "the ass" and Alice called him "my brother", so I did not hear it either.

"Bella, sooner or later you are going to get over him, and it is going to be sooner rather then later. Now sit!" she commanded. I sat on my bed as she went through my closet. She took about ten minutes and the outfit she picked was WAY to revealing.

"Alice," I said in a warning tone. "You know I would never wear that!"

"Come on, Bella. For one night have some fun!"

I did need to get over him. "Fine."

She squealed again, and I put on the blood red tube top and black short skirt. Oh God, I look like a hooker. This will get Edward's attention. He would kill me!

'Now for your makeup and hair!" Alice ran over to her kit. She picked out super bright red lipstick and blush. She put on a lot of eyeliner and mascara. Then for my hair she did a style called sex hair. It was really messy and needed a lot of hairspray. When we were finished Alice picked out the highest pair of heels she could find. My feet are going to kill by the end of the night. When Bella the 'Hooker Barbie' was finished we had to sneak me out of the house. If Charlie saw me, he would kill me and never let me out of the house again. Alice could not wait to get there. She was bouncing up and down like a little kid in a candy store, and we weren't even at the party yet!

"Alice, can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Sure, Bella." she said bouncing with the rhythm of the song on the radio.

"Why do you want to go to this party so badly?"

"Jasper," she sighed.

"Jasper? What about him?"

"He is going to be there tonight!" She bounced even more. "Did you tell Edward about me and Jasper?"

Shoot! I forgot. "No. I'm sorry, Alice. I have a lot of things going on."

"It's okay. I know you have been though a lot." I was so glad that Alice was so nice and a great friend, but I knew she was sad that I forgot to tell Edward about Jasper.

The car ride was silent untill we pulled up to the house. Alice looked nervous about something. "Alice?"

"Be careful, Bella."

Why would she say something like that? "What do you mean?"

"Just be careful, Bella. Your like a sister to me and I do not want you to get hurt. Okay?" She took my hand in hers.

"Okay."

Strange.

We went to where Emmett and Jasper were. So far no sign of Mike. Edward I was not sure of yet. "WOW, Bella!" I heard Emmett yell. "You look HOT!"

I blushed. "Thanks, Emmett. Is 'he' here?" Emmett knew who I was talking about.

"I haven't seen him since the day you two broke up. He is really messed up, Bella." Emmett took a sip of his drink, and right now I need one. I went to the bar and got a vodka and coke. I put more vodka than coke in it. I wanted to get drunk so I could forget about Edward and my shity life. The one thing I had that was good was gone. It was my fault. I shouldn't have told him I wanted to sleep with him. He asked and I said yes because I wanted to, and because I knew he wanted to. If I'd said no maybe this wouldn't have happened. I finished my first drink in two minutes flat. I went to the bar for another one; this time I put no coke: just vodka.

I walked around the party. Maybe I could kiss a random boy and my thoughts of Edward would be gone. No, they are never going to get out of my head. I loved him to much. I looked at my glass. Time for another one. I went over to the bar and decided to try something new. Beer and vodka? Mmmm no. Plain beer? Yea. I filled my cup to the top with ice cold beer. The whole time I was filling my cup Emmett was looking at me like I had three heads. "Bella?" he said trying to take the cup. "I think you had enough."

"I think I need more." I slurred moving the cup out of his reach.

Emmett kept staring and I kept drinking.

_He is gone _I thought _I don't need saving and there is nothing holding me back. _

I went outside because the cigarette smoke was all over the place. My vision was blurred and I could not see anything. I could only hear buzzing in my ears and next I knew I was on the ground. Passed out. I was lying there for what seemed like hours, till I felt someone pick me up. Maybe it's Edward. Maybe he really does love me and everything that happened was a lie. I was put in a car and the rest of the ride was a dream to me.

**:( :P :) :o :{**

My head hurt. My ears were ringing. I felt like I had to puke. Plus I was on a cold floor. I woke up in a cabin not remembering how I got there. I looked around the cabin not knowing if I was even in Forks anymore. Did I mention I felt like I had to puke? I got up, trying to remember last night and if I did anything that would lead me to this place. Alone. Until I heard the voice that haunts my every waking moment. "Mmmmm, Bella."

**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Okay no killing PLEASE! I know that I have not updated in FOREVER! All I wanted to say was thanks for all the reviews and story alerts! They put a huge smile on my face! I wanted to remind you all about "My Betrothed". I am co-writting it with my beta Bo-My-Whistling-Monkey! READ AND REIVEW!! **

**LOVE YA!**

**Edwardlover95**


	17. Walking in the Night EPOV

**Heyyyy **

**Wow the reviews were awesome!!!! I am glad you guys liked the last chapter! Okay this was another long wait and since I will be gone for three weeks I decided to put this up without my GREAT beta looking at it. So sorry for the spelling and grammar mistakes... I hope you guys like this one it is in EPOV! **

**ENJOY!!! **

Walking in the Night EPOV

Gone. How could she be gone? She was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now she was gone. God I am stupid! Why did I kiss Jessica? Why did I trust Eric? He liked Bella. He was trying to brake us up. How am I going to live now. I don't want anyone else. Only Bella. I miss her hair, her smell, but most of all her smile. Like when she is really happy it reaches her eyes and they get bright and twinkle. And when she laughs.... God how am I going to get through this. I love her. She is the only person that truly gets me and made me feel like I can do anything. Now she is gone. Maybe...forever.

Sitting in my room I went over everything we went though together. The fun we had. The love we shared. I put that into one of the saddest pieces of music I have ever written. My heart needed to mend and music was how I got it out. I did cry, but their was only so much I could take. While playing Emmett came downstairs looking at me like I was a freak. "Someone is whipped," he laughed.

I shoot him a look. He would never grow up. "Shut the fuck up!"

"Whoa!" he said putting up his hands. "What's wrong? Are you and Bella okay? Is Bella okay?" He looked nervous about the last part. Emmett was like a teddy bear. A big teddy bear, but he cares about the people who are in his family and to him Bella was in our family. I thought that too.

"She is fine. I think. We...um...well we...we broke up." I whispered the last part. I still didn't want to believe it. I can't.

My face was down so I could not see Emmett's face, but I could tell he couldn't believe it either. "You guys...broke...up?"

I lifted my head up to see him. "Yea." I said with tears in my eyes.

He walked around rubbing his chin. He stopped suddenly like a lightbulb went off in his head. "You need to get over her. And I know how you can do it!" He went though my closet and pulled out jeans and a collared shirt. "Now wear are your shoes?"

I just looked at him in awe. "Dude, your scaring me. You have be around Alice to much." I smiled.

"Shut up." He threw a pillow at me. "I just want you to get out and have some fun."

"Thanks, Emmett. You really are a big teddy bear!"

"Yea, yea. Just get dressed." He threw the clothes at me and closed the door.

I thought about Bella and how we would just lay in bed all day. Just the two of us. I didn't want to go out. I want to continue writing my sad songs and think about my Bella. She was the only thing on my mind. I hoped a prayed that she was okay. I wondered about her whereabouts and if she was safe. I thought about her face when she saw me kissing Jessica and how I wanted to relive that moment and make it better. Try to redeem myself. But Bella didn't give me that chance and that was the hardest thought. The moment she told me we need to see other people. I died inside. I didn't want to live anymore. I hated life and still do. But I have to have let go sometime. I got dressed and put the thoughts of Bella in the back of my head. I was ready to try and have a good time.

We I walked downstairs Emmett was dressed and ready. "So, what do you have in mind?"

"We are going to a club and you are going to me a strange girl and have fun. And me well....you know." He raised his eyebrows and I knew what he meant.

"I know, but_ you_ know I am not like that, Emmett. I can't just meet a girl and hook up with her!"

"Yea I know. Just promise me you will have fun."

"Girl scouts honor!" I joked.

"Ahahahah thats sooo funny!" he said sarcastically. "Now lets go. It is eight-thirty and that means we only have-" He started to count on his fingers. "five and a half hours of hard core clubbing!"

"Five and a half hours?! How long to you plan to keep me out till?"

"Until you get over this thing. Now come on!"

We got into Emmett's car and dove to the club. He didn't tell me what type of club it was or where it was located. So if he took me to a strip club, I had no way of getting out. Perfect. I put my head on the glass window and closed my eyes. The first thing I saw was Bella. Her brown eyes were looking right at me, but they looked sad. Her mouth looked like it was mouthing something I could not hear or understand. Her long, brown hair was blowing in the wind. Behind her it was pitch black, so the only thing I saw was her face. It was like this every time I closed my eyes. Not able to bare the pain, I opened them to see us pulled up at a club called "Dawn". I was about to get out when I realized I was only eighteen and Emmett was twenty.

"How are we going to get in?" I asked. Emmett pulled out two fake ID's and smiled at me. He always new how to get into places like this.

Emmett gave me my ID and walked up to the bouncer. "ID's please?" asked the bouncer. We showed him the fake ID's and got in with out a problem. Walking inside, it was dark and smelled like smoke. The music was loud and all around you saw people on the walls making out. When you walked to the dance floor their were girls on the table tops and guys staring at them in awe.

"Dude, why are we here?" I yelled to Emmett over the thumping music. He was staring at a blond girl with big boobs and ass. She was on the table sawing her hips with her head thrown back. "I know why. You took me here so you could hook up with a stripper?"

Just then Emmett took his eyes off of the blond and on me. They were dark with anger. "Don't you ever say that about her again! She is sweet and nice and not a stripper. She comes here to have fun. Not to get payed. So if you want to talk about someone, you better get your facts right." After his speech he turned back to the girl. Surprised, I made my way to the bar. I have never heard Emmett talk about a girl like that. He talked about her like he knew her so well. Emmett always talked about girls like they were property. Never in my life have I heard him talk about a girl with so much respect. When the bartender came over I ordered a Vodka Tonic. I only knew it because it was what my mother got. I got my drink and turned around to get a better look at the club. I looked for Emmett who was talking to the blond he was drooling over. He looked like he enjoyed her company very much. The drink was good, so I ordered another and then walked around.

The song "LoveGame" was playing when I saw her. I could have sworn it was her. It had to be. I walked faster to catch up with her. The girl had long, brown hair and her body was shaped like Bella's. I just kept my eyes on her to make sure I didn't lose her. When I got to the middle of the floor she was gone. I shook my head and when to the bar again for a stronger drink.

For the whole time I just stood their. A couple of girls asked me to dance, but I said no. I couldn't dance with them. I had about five or six drinks and was out of it. "Whoa their little bro. What did you drink?" Emmett asked.

"I don't remember." I slurred.

"Well, I want you to meet someone. Edward this is Rosalie. Rosalie this is my brother Edward."

"Nice to meet you," she said with a girly voice.

"Nice to meet you too, but I have to go. Can Emmett get a ride home from you?"

"Oh, no. You are not driving home," Emmett said.

"Then how in the world am I going to get back home?"

"Walk, take the bus, I don't know!"

"Fine! See you at home."

I walked out of the club and on to the street. It was cold and I was drunk. Walking in the night alone on a strange street with drug dealers everywhere.

As I was walking I saw two men in an ally. I stopped to see what they were doing. One saw me and pointed. They both ran after me. I turned the corner and ran. But I was drunk so I couldn't run. I was stumbling and falling all over, and the men were catching me. I fell three time and fourth time I stayed down. I couldn't breath and my eyes closed before I heard, "She is mine now Eddie boy." Then I drifted into darkness.

**OH DEAR!!! OUR EDWARD!!! Okay so sorry! Once again I will be away for three weeks so this is it for now. Again I am sorry that it is not grammatically correct, but I didn't want you guys to wait! I will be writing when I am away. THANK YOU GUYS AND PLEASE REVIEW!!! 3 **

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**Edwardover95**


	18. Understanding

**Heyyyy**

***Hiding* I am soo sorry! I got so many death mail things lol! I was away at camp for three weeks. Then I couldn't get my computer till this week! Thank you for waiting for this chapter. I really hope you like it! **

**ENJOY!!**

Understanding

**BPOV**

The voice was clear. I knew who took me, and it was not who I hoped it was. The hands that groped my body when I was drunk, they were not the hands of my Edward. They were the hands of a mad man. He touched me like I was his. Like I was property to him. I didn't dare to look up. I stayed down. He was hovering over me, smelling my hair. I closed my eyes hoping it was another dream. I opened them to find the same dark, cold room I was in when I closed them. Blood was on my shirt. How did that get there? I tried to breathe, but my rib cage hurt. Mike was still near me, so I still stayed down trying to pretend to be asleep.

The room smelled like blood and puke. It was dark with nothing in it. It looked like the basement of a house. The floor was cold because I had nothing on. _Thanks Alice, _I thought. Mike got tried of waiting for me to wake up. He went up the stairs and left me in the room... alone. When I thought it was safe I got up to get a better look at the room. My side killed and I noticed that I had a cuts on my knee, hands, and on the top of my head. When Mike took me here he must of just dropped me on the floor like trash. Or did something else happen...

I got off the cold floor trying to remember last night and what happened. Nothing came to mind but me drinking ten vodka and sodas. I was just drunk. I remember falling and cold hands taking me in a car, and then nothing. I was just...here. Suddenly I heard a moaning sound and two men upstairs fighting. I got back on the floor and tried to stay still. The door opened and I could hear the two men more clearly. "...she is just not up right now, okay." The man sounded like Mike. But if that was Mike, who was the other man.

"Look I know you love her and everything," the strange man said "but we had a deal. She was to be brought here and I was to have my way with her and then you could do whatever you want. I just want one night with her and now that she is here I could have that night. So wake her up. Now." The footsteps got closer and closer until I could feel them standing over me.

"Get up, Bella. Time to play." Mike said kneeling down and smelling my hair

When I didn't move I could that the other man was getting frustrated. "Let me do it," he said and I heard him push Mike. "GET UP YOU BITCH!" While he said it he kicked me over and over again. When I didn't move he did it three more times before giving up. I wasn't going to move. I was going to stay put until I had to move. "She isn't moving. Why isn't she moving?!"

"I don't know." Mike's voice was low and he sounded scared. "Maybe she is still drunk?"

"Maybe. Lets check on the other one. Maybe we could still have our fun!" As they walked away I tried to see if I could get a glimpse of the other man. From the back he looked muscular and strong. Mike looked like a shrimp next to him. He had long black hair and was very tan. He looked very familiar. Wait...another one. Who else is here?

When they were gone I got up as quietly as I could. I looked around to see if I could get out. And what did that big guy mean about "having his way with me"? Oh, God....he wants to...I need to get out of here. I looked to see if I could find a window, but nothing. The only door was the one Mike went through, and I didn't want to go up there. I couldn't help but to think about the other person here. What were they planing on doing with them?

**EPOV**

I awoke with a pain on my side and my jaw. My vision was blurred and I could not move my hands. I thought back to last night at the club with Emmett. The night I was so depressed about Bella. I was drunk out of my mind and walking home. But then everything went blank. Thinking about it made my head hurt even more. When my vision cleared I could see that I was in a kitchen and tied to a chair. My hands were behind me so I couldn't get out. _What happened? How did I get here? _They were the questions on my mind. My thoughts went to Bella. I wondered where she was. If she was safe. My thoughts always consumed of her. I could never stop wondering if she was safe and out of harms way.

I shook the thoughts of Bella out of my head. I had to get out of here. I took a deep breath trying to think of a way to stet my hands free. Suddenly, I heard a voice that brought back the rest of last night.

_Flashback_

_I was fighting with Emmett about me driving home. I told him I would walk home or take a bus. One way or another I was getting out of that club!_

_I was walking when I saw two strange men in an ally. I looked to see what they were doing when one suddenly pointed at me. I ran. But the drinks got to me so I fell a few times and couldn't run as fast as I could If I was sober. I fell once more before I couldn't breathe and shut my eyes. The last words I heard were, "She's mine now Eddie boy." Then everything went black. _

_End of flashback_

Mike.

MIKE!!

I was going to kill him. He had Bella. I could feel it. There was something wrong. The voices got closer, but there was one I did not recognize. When they came into the bedroom I saw Mike and a tall tan man who I have never seen before. "Hello, Eddie boy," he said when he saw me. "Did you have a nice nap?" He walked around me and had a cynical grin on his face. I waned to slap it off so bad!

"What do you want? And where is Bella?" I asked. I swear to God if they hurt her I will kill the motherfucker!

"Oh, he wants his Bella!" He turned to the tan man and smiled. He smiled a toothy grin like he had a plan. "Don't worry Eddie. You will see her soon, but I don't think you will like it." He laughed an evil laugh and went beside the tall man again.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!?" I screamed. I tried moving my hands so I was shaking the chair. They laughed.

I heard the doorbell ring and turned to see who it was. They came right in and I could see it was Jessica, Tyler, and Eric.

"Hey looked who joined the party!" Mike said. "You know Jessica, right?" He laughed again and suddenly I got it. They knew about everything. They were in on it. Jessica tried to get Bella to break up with me by kissing me and she told me Bella was with Tyler and Eric so I would go with her. How could I be so stupid?

"Hi Eddie," Jessica said. She came over to straddle my lap. "How about another kiss?"

I shivered. "Get off of me!"

"Oh, come on. Please." She gave a pout and tried to look sad.

"NO! Get off. I love Bella!"

"Fine. But soon you wouldn't even want her." She laughed a went over to Mike. "Mike, can we show him now?"

He nodded his head with a smile on his lips.

The tall man yelled "YES!" and ran out a door behind them. He made some noise downstairs and then brought up something.

When I saw who it was I gasped. Her brown hair was tangled and she had blood on her shirt. When I saw her eyes, they looked like she had been crying. I just wanted to get up and hold her and tell her everything would be okay. But I couldn't. When her eyes met mine, she looked shocked. "Edward," she whispered.

"Bella."

**OOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Thank you for waiting for this chapter! I am so sorry it took so long. I hope you liked it! TELL ME! REIVEW!! :) 3 **

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**P.S A BIG thanks to my beta! SHE IS AWESOME!!! :)**


	19. My Wost Nightmare

**Heyyy!!**

**I know I have been getting really late with my updates and I am so sorry!!! My computer is stupid and would not let me update. I also know that they haven' been that long and for that I am also sorry! I wanted to make them longer, but it take to long for me lol! I still hope you guys like the story and like ware it is headed. If not give me suggestions! This chapter is a bit graphic! I hope you guys like it and I am starting the next chapter NOW!!!!!! WARNING: NOT BATED!!!!!! sorry for the grammar mistakes!!!!!!! **

**ENJOY!!!!!!! 3**

Worst Nightmare 

"Bella," I heard a musical voice say.

I looked up to see the pair of green eye that I have missed so much. The eyes that I have looked into during my darkest days. The eyes that have saved me over and over again. The eyes of the man I love. "Edward," I whispered. I noticed he had his hands behind him. They took him too. I looked around the room to see Jessica, the slut that kissed Edward and Tyler and Eric. I went back to that unfortunate day when I saw Edward kiss Jessica. I remember being mad and upset, but seeing Edward their with no hope in his eyes just dead, sorrowful eyes I fell for him again. It didn't madder to me now, because I knew what had happened. It had been planed. Seeing Jessica, Tyler, and Eric in that room proved that. I always knew that Jessica like Edward, who didn't know that. Eric and Tyler always liked me since the first day, so Mike told them that they could have what they wanted if they helped. So they did. I wanted to tell Edward how sorry I was and how much I loved him. But he wouldn't look at me after that brief first encounter. He put his head down and wouldn't look up.

Mike moved his head and the man took me upstairs. Behind me, Edward was being pushed to follow. We went into a room. It was dark at first, but when he turned the lights on I knew his plan. It was how Mike got him here. He wanted me. Edward was a few minutes behind and was put right in front of the bed. I was put on the bed. Edward's eyes widened and he let a growl. I tried to calm him by looking at him lovingly. I tried to show him that I was okay, but on the inside I was screaming. Mike shut the door and locked it. Jessica, Eric, and Tyler weren't in the room, but I knew they were right outside the door.

"Now," Mike smiled. "we are going to have fun with little Bella here." He patted my head. I heard Edward growl again. "Now, now little Edie. She won't be harmed. She might scream a little. Jake here is a BIG boy." Mike and the man Jake laughed again only louder.

"I swear to God if you touch her I will.." Edward said but was cut off by Mike.

"You'll what Edie. Kill us? You forgot one thing, your tied up and their nothing in the house that you can kill me with."

"I'll find something, believe me." he said sarcastically.

Mike punched him. "No!!" I gasped.

"YOU SHUT UP!" Mike screamed.

"DO TALK TO HER LIKE THAT!" Edward screamed back. Mike punched him again

"Please stop! I will do it! Edward stop defending me. I'll do it." I whispered the last part. I had no idea what I was saying. But I know that I didn't want Edward to get hurt because of me. I loved him to much.

Jake rubbed his hands together like he was getting read to eat something and Mike just smiled. I couldn't look at Edward because I knew his face would looked shocked and confused and hurt. I couldn't look at him.

"Good choice, Bella." Mike moved away from Edward and went to Jake. "She is all yours, Jake. I hope you enjoy watching. Edie." He laughed and walked out.

Watching? WATCHING!? Edward was going to watch me and him... No! When I looked at Edward he had on single tear rolling down his face. He mouthed "I love you" and " I am sorry" My view of Edward was blocked by the tall, tan man Jake. When his face came near mine I remembered him from my nightmare. My worst nightmare.

"Ready, pretty Bella?" He asked sweetly and moved a pice of hair from my face. He turned to Edward. "You better not close your eyes. Or she'll really get it." I heard Edward snarl again. Jake laughed.

When Jake turned again his lips were on mine. He started softly but then got fierce. He put his hands in my hair and moaned. He pushed us back so we weren't on the edge of the bed anymore. I wanted to pull out of his grasp but I knew I would pay for it, so I let him grope me and kiss me. I closed my eyes and envisioned Edward. It was his hands touching me. It was his lips pressed against mine. It was him that I wanted. He broke away from the kiss, "This is better then I would have ever dreamed," he sighed. He kissed me with such intensity that it shocked me. He started to take of my shirt. In that moment I wondered what Edward was thinking. I hope he knows I love him and that I am only doing this for him. When Mike hit him, I snapped. Edward was getting hurt because of me. I wouldn't let that happen. I wanted to tell him that this meant nothing to me. He was the one that I wanted to touch me like this. I wanted to moan his name over and over again. I wanted to make love to him. Not this man. Jake got up to undo his pants and take off his shirt, so I saw Edward briefly. I could tell he was trying so hard not to get up an punch Jake. His jaw was locked and his eyes stayed open. For my sake.

When Jake was done striping he undid my pants and ripped off my underwear. He came up to my ear "I am going to fuck you so hard that you won't be able to walk and little Edie boy hear will never look at you the same again." He licked my earlobe and went to my breast. What he said got into my head. WIll Edward ever love me after his? Will he look at me the same? But most importantly, will he still love me? These thoughts were to much to bare. I could think about that. It hurt to much. He was kneeing my breast and I was trying not to moan, but I did. He seamed to think that it was because of him. _Believe me buddy its not! _He went to the other and gave it the same amount of attention. He went lower and stopped at my hot sex. I wanted to close my eye, not able to look, but I could take the risk. I saw Edward over the top of Jakes head and focused on him. His eyes were locked on mine. "I love you and only you" I mouthed. He nodded and a tear fell from his eyes.

"MMM..Bella," Jake moaned. "You smell wonderful. I can't wait to fuck you beautiful pussy. I bet it tastes good too. Doesn't it Edward?"

Edward growled, but his eye never left mine. _Look at me, Edward. Only me. I love you. Please know that. _

Jake licked my my slit and moaned. His vibrations made my moan. He tongue started to go in and out of me. He then started to finger me. One tear escaped from my eye. No matter if it felt good or not, it still wasn't Edward. I finally came and Jake looked pleased. "You do taste good." He winked and kissed me. He straddles me and thrusts into me. I scream, but not in passion but pain. From all the pain of letting this man do this to me with my love watching. I felt so stupid and...dirty. He pumped in and out of me moaning my name. _Edward _I moaned in my head _Yes...AH! I love you! Edward. _I came and so did Jake. Putting his poison in me. He rolled off of me breathing heavily. He thanked me and pulled on his pants and walked out. Just like that. I didn't look at Edward. Instead I curled up into a ball and cried.

I heard someone come in so I stopped. Then someone took Edward out of the room and left. I cried even harder. I didn't deserve him anymore. I don't deserve to live anymore.

**:) :( :) :p : /**

The next morning I felt horrible. I couldn't move and kept my eyes closed hoping that it was a dream. The only face in my mind was Edward's. He looked sad and disappointed...in me. I didn't want to look into his green eyes, but something in them made me feel safe. Like no matter what I did, he would still love me. I told myself over and over that they were deceiving me. It couldn't be true. I hurt Edward. I made love to another man. I could never be with him again. I had to open my eyes. It hurt to look at him. At those eyes.

I woke up and looked around realizing that this was real not a dream. My worst nightmare was still going on. I wanted to be home with Charlie, in my own bed, and leave this all behind. But I had to stay here till I could leave. "Bella," The voice sounded far away. Maybe downstairs? I don't know, but I knew the voice. Mike.

The person who brought me to this hell hole. He was once my boyfriend. Maybe he was right. When we dated he called me a slut. He said I was worthless. I have come to believe it now. It is why I think Edward deserves better then me. When I think of Edward I can see him going on to bigger and better things. He could be a doctor, a lawyer, and maybe a big time business man. He didn't need to be with a girl like me. I meant to do little things. I was never, ever supposed to be with someone like him. I should have known all along that Jessica was with Mike. Edward would have never done that to me. Man I am so stupid! "Bella!" the boy said again. I looked down and what I saw could not be explained. It was over. The pain and the agony...over.

**OH DEAR!!!! It might not be that graphic to some but to me it was! It was strange to write lol. Anyway tell me what you think!!! Oh and if you want me to do this in Edward POV!!! Thank you!!!! :) **

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**P.S: I hope everyone has a great school year!!!! :)**


	20. Gone

**I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRRYYYYY!!!!! Do not kill me! I had so much to do. Okay to get this to you I did not get it revised. SORRY!! I really hope it is worth the wait! :)**

**ENJOY!!!**

Gone

BPOV

Blood. All I saw was red, thick blood. I felt a little uneasy because of the smell. Salt and copper. That was the worst smell. "BELLA!!!" The voice was closer and louder, but it was a different voice. No, It couldn't be. He was gone. I was alone. Edward would not come back to me. I know it. I knew what happened. I did this to myself. Unable to take the thought of hurting Edward, I hurt myself. The cuts were up and down my arm. The blood was pooling on my arm and all over the bed. I got pleasure from this pain. It was unexplainable, but true. My eyes were closing and the light was getting fogged. "Bella, open your eyes! Please stay with me." The face was blurred, but the voice was the same as the first person who saved me.

"Edward, how...how...how did you-" He cut me off.

"I got out. Bella why did you do this??" His face was sad...broken. It killed me. I wanted to reach for the razor again. I don't even remember how I got it, but I did. His pain was my fault...again. Why can't I do anything right? I had the best thing in the world and I might lose it because of my stupidity. his green orbs were looking at me with concern, a million questions, and I thought I saw love but I can't be right. Right?

"I hurt you. I am... I a-" I blacked out.

EPOV

Why? Why did I do this to her. She was gone, I knew it. I will kill Mike and that dog Jacob. They hurt her. I put her in my arms and cried. I rocked her slowly. Their was a some people downstairs. They were talking and moving around. I told Bella I got out, but the truth was that Mike let me out. He went in to Bella's room and saw the blood. He began to panic. He told me what he saw and let me be with her. I could tell he loved her. Truly loved her and wanted her to be safe. He did not know what to do, so he called someone who did. Even if it was the other man he was fighting against.

But Jacob. That motherfucker! He just left! After he had sex with Bella he left the house never to come back. He wanted a one night stand and that is what he got. I could not believe him! All the pain and harm he caused he left. He did not care. If Bella was bleeding to death he would just walk away and never look back. As I looked down at the broken angel in my arm, I cried more. She was really gone I knew she was. Her lose of blood was tremendous. My whole life was gone and I knew it. I would never be able to live without her.

A knock at the door pulled me out of my depressed state. It was Mike and Jessica. Mike looked sad and Jessica looked like she was going to puke at the smell and the amount of blood that was on me and the bed. "She is gone." My voce cracked. I pulled her lifeless body closer to me, unable to realize the truth.

"Edward I should take her to a doctor. Maybe their is a-" I cut him off.

"No. There is no pules and she lost to much blood. She is gone.

"I am sorry. Its all my fault," He put his hands on his face.

He was right. If it wasn't for him Jacob would have never have gotten in contacted with Bella. She would be alive. In my arms and alive. I gently put Bella down. I walled over to Mike calmly and pushed him aside. I knew ware he kept the guns. I had to do this. Not only for Bella, but for me. My life would be a living hell without her. He followed me. He was oblivious to what I was planing. The box was unlocked.

The gun felt heavy in my hands. I a tear fell from my eyes. "Edward," Mike called.

"I thought it was all my fault. I should have ripped the ropes off of my hands and stopped the motherfucker. But no I sat there. Like an asshole I just sat there. She was so fragile so pure. Until you," I turned to face him now. "You violated her. Let another man sleep with her. You didn't care about her. All you wanted to do was take care of your needs. She did nothing to deserve this. I did nothing to deserve her. No one deserves her. She is to pure and special for anyone. And you," I looked at Jessica. "You just wanted sex from me. You helped him in his little scheme and you didn't care if anyone was got hurt. You just wanted one thing. Me. You knew I loved Bella more then anything. I could not see my life with out her. And now...NOw SHE IS GONE! And I won't be able to live anymore. And you know what," I looked down at the gun. "neither do you." I shot them both. Dead. They never saw it coming.

I was shaking with anger, disbelief, and sadness. I shot them. I _shot _them. Looking down at their bodies I knew that I did the right thing. Was I now considered a murder? I had to get away, but I would not leave Bella here. I ran upstairs to get her, she was still lifeless as before. Picking her up, I ran to the door and picked up Mike's car keys on the way out. I gently put Bella into the car and hopped in on the other side. I drove fast. Faster then normal. I had to get her looked at. There had to be someway I could get her back. I pulled in to the hospital lot and went to the ER. I knew my father would be working and would do anything for Bella and me. I walked to the nearest nurse. "Nurse! Nurse! Please you have to help my girlfriend please!"

"You are going to have to wait. I am sorry." she turned away. Now I was pissed.

"WAIT!?!?!? I can't wait! She could die! Hell, she might be dead, but I need to see if they could save her! Please!" I begged the nurse. Her eyes softened and sighed in defeat.

"Doctor! We need a doctor here quick!"

Once she that a million of people came rushing towards Bella. My father was one of them. "Edward?" Between the rush of people and all the talking my father looked down at Bella on the bed. His gaze fell upon me and he looked as if his own daughter was in this position. His face got serious and I knew he would do anything in his power to make Bella live. Anything.

**:) :( :P :O**

I waited in the Hospital for ever. No one came out of the operating room and my heart was pounding. I was losing control fast. If I did not know how she was I was going to hit something. For the past hour I have been reading the magazines that are in the hospital. Never in my life have I read _Women's Health _and I never want to again. But I could not help it. Sitting in the waiting room made me a nervous reck. Wanting to be a doctor should put those nerves away, but we were talking about Bella. _MY BELLA!! _She is in there and might be dead for all I know. I could not take it. I HAD to know.

I walked over to the nurse at the front of the waiting room, "Excuse me," I tried to put my sexy voice on. It always got me what I wanted. "can you tell me if Bella Swan is out of the operating room?"

The nurse looked dazzled by me. _JACKPOT! _ "Ummm....let me check."

"Thank you." I winked at her.

The nurse was on the phone for ten minutes and yet that was too long. The only thing I got of the conversation was "Umm and yes and okays". It annoyed the hell out of me! She finally got off the phone and turned to me. " Your father wants to see you in his office." Oh crap. This is not good!

"Okay." My voice cracked. "Thank you again."

I walked slowly to my fathers office. He had to tell me something important. This is ware he took my mother when her father died and ware he took Emmett when his close friend pasted. I knew it was not good. I took a deep breath and knocked. "Come in," His voice was soft and didn't tell me anything. His face, on the other hand, told me that he had bad news. "Edward, I have something to tell you and it is not easy to say."

**:) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH CLIFFY!!! **

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	21. When I Look At You

**HEY!!!!!**

**I know my updates are taking forever! Sorry. I also know that some people might be mad that I make them wait so long and the chapter is not long at all. I am very sorry. I try to write but school...DARN! I am really trying. Also yes my grammar sucks. I am also really trying to get better at that...but I just suck at it lol. **

**UPDATE ON OTHER STORIES!!!!**

**Love and Duty: **

**Working on it diligently! I promise!!**

**Our Love is Unsinkable:**

**Also working on it. I have writers block....**

**In the Moonlight:**

**This is on hold for a little until I have an idea on how to approach it.**

**My Betrothed:**

**I have a partner on this, but I have not talked to her in FOREVER!!! I need to talk to her on what to do with this.**

**THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING!!!**

**NOW finally...the next chapter :)**

**I DO NOT OWN!!!! :(**

**Enjoy!!!**

When I Look At You

I held my breath. My father just stared at me and then looked to the ground. I never saw my father so...upset. Not even when his parents died. "What is it?" I said. He has to tell me something. "Please dad say something! I need to know how she is." I had it with the hospital. I need to know now. My beautiful, sweet Bella is in the room across from my fathers office and it took everything in me not to go in there. She is dead. I know it, but he needs to tell me. I need it to be confirmed.

"Edward, she....she is not breathing." I took a huge breath for the information I had been waiting for. "But not dead." He said not dead. Not _dead? _Could that even be possible? If she is not breathing then she must be dead. Thats what dead means. Not breathing. I know I should be happy right now but...it makes no sense to me.

"How could that be?" I whispered.

"Well she is in a coma. The amount of blood she lost was extreme, but she could fight it. The reason she slipped into this coma was because she had some brain damage. It looked like it was cause from banging her head on something. If we get someone to operate on her head she might have a better chance of living, but it is a risk. A procedure such as this is very hard to do. Some people never come out of a coma like this and if they do they have some brain problems." He did not say she will die. He said it was a risk and she might die and have a bit of brain damage. That maybe so, but it is better then her being dead. We still have a chance at this. Me and her. Forever. I nodded my head and tried to hold back the tears. I will make sure she will survive this and that we will have the happy ending we deserve.

"May I see her?" I could not even hear my own voice.

"Yes." He walked me out of his office then stopped and then stopped me. "Edward, if she does not make it please, for your mothers sake, do not do anything stupid." He was talking about me killing myself. I could not make that promise. I will not live in a world she does not live in.

"I promise." I lied.

He nodded and let me go in without another word. I closed my eyes and prepared myself. I opened the door a little and peaked my head inside. The only sound was the beeping that came from the machine that was keeping her alive. I opened the door all the way and stared at her. She looked like a sleeping angel. Even with the tube on her neck she was my angel. Her eyes were closed but her mouth was open. It made me laugh a little because she always slept with her mouth a little open. Slowly, I walked over to her bedside. I got the chair and brought it closer to the bed. I took her small, fragile hand in mine and cried. It was my fault. Everything was my fault. If I did not look at her the way I did everyday then Mike might not have hit her. It was so stupid of me to go over her house to see if she need someone to walk with her. Of course, Mike will take her to school! It was because of me that she was in here. That is what hurts. I put her life in danger and even though I wanted to protect her the only thing I did was put her into more danger.

I would never make that mistake again. "Bella," my voice broke a little. I moved a piece of hair out of her face. "Bella you have to wake up. I can't stay on this earth without you. Please. Don't go." I broke at the end. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to let the tears fall. I cried for a long time. Every time I looked at her the tears came. When the tears silenced I stayed in her room till visiting hours were over. I kissed her cheek and looked at her one last time before I left. "Night, love." I whispered.

**:) :( :P =] =[ =P XD**

I went home, but could not sleep. I walked into my music room. This was a place for me to into and relax. My parents knew that music was one of the loves in my life, so the gave me a room for it. A baby grand piano right in the middle and surrounding it was a million copies of music. On one side was my favorite copies then the other was the ones I played for family occasions. That side also held my music. I only wrote music when something happened or something hit me. But now..now I was using music to help me. It was like a safety blanket for me. It helped me.

I sat down at the piano and ran my fingers across the keys. I felt safer. I hit middle C and let out a breath. From then on the music came pouring out of me. I made this by thinking of Bella. It was her song. I wrote it down and tried to perfect it. It was a sweet and loving song. It was just like her. "Bella's Lullaby" I called it. It was a song I will play for her when she woke up. To let her know I will never leave her again. That she will be mine forever. I played it over and over again until I heard someone walking downstairs. "Edward?" It was Alice.

"In here, Alice," I whispered.

"What are you doing up?" She asked with a sleepy look in her eyes.

"Couldn't sleep. To many things going on in my mind. How about you? What are you doing up?"

"Same. Sleep is not my friend tonight." She looked at the sheet music on the stand and eyed me. "What are you working on before I interrupted? It sounded beautiful."

"Oh I..." I never liked telling my family what I was working on. They would always bother me about it. Especially Emmett. He would call me a girl because I loved to write music that he called "girly music". He never like the classics. "Um just something to keep my mind off of..you know."

She nodded. "You mind if I look?"

I shook my head.

She sat next to me and read the music. She couldn't read it so it was funny. "Will you play it?"

"Sure."

I played the song for her, but never looked at her. I could tell she was crying. She knew what and who it was about. Bella was like a sister to her, so of course she would feel pain. When I finished I hung my head and began to cry with her. She put her head on my shoulder and tried to stop, but me crying just made it worse. When we were finished our crying she looked at me with love in her eyes. Alice was the best sister a guy could ask for. Even though she was one annoying pixie, she had her loving moments.

"It was beautiful, Edward." she whispered.

"Thank you. I just hope she hears it." I hung my head again and almost cried at the thought of her dying and not hearing it.

"She will, Edward. Your Bella is a little trooper. She can make it though anything. Just believe in her and your love. Trust me." She said with a twinkle in her eye.

"How do you know, Alice? How do you know she can make it though it? I can't lose her. If I do I...I don't know what I will do."

"Don't you dare talk like that, Edward Anthony Cullen! I promise you that she will get though this. And if not you have to promise me that you will not to anything crazy. Please."

I just looked at her and shook my head no.

"Please! For me. Lie to me if you have to, but say it!"

I paused for a moment and nodded. "I promise."

"Thank you." she said.

"We should get some sleep. I have a lot to do tomorrow."

She nodded and kissed me on my cheek and went upstairs. I breathed in and out and closed the piano then put the music on the shelf where I could find it. I shut the lights and walked upstairs.

_I can't promise anything...._

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	22. Not Now

**Heyyyyyyy**

**I know late once more. I am sorry! I have been trying to get this done and other stories plus HOMEWORK :P sometimes I really hate high school. Anyway, I hope you guys are okay with this chapter. Again this is not bated or anything so it might have a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. I will see you at the bottom :)**

**ENJOY!**

Not Now

"How is she?" I asked my dad for the billionth time. He would never tell me how she was or what she was doing. When he came home, he would no utter a word to me. I was a nervous reck when he was around, and he knew that. I would walk around like a crazy person just to distract me. I cannot handle it.

"Esme, can you pass the potato's, please?" he asked her softly, ignoring my question. It scared me.

"Dad! DAD! You have to tell me something! I am going crazy here! This deal that we made, I can't take it anymore! I need to see her. I need to be there when she wakes up. Don't you understand! I need her, dad!!!" Carlisle made me make a deal with her. The deal was that I would only go to the hospital on the weekends. He said I need to focus on my studies and if anything major happened he would tell me. So far he has kept me in the dark, and I was not taking it anymore!

"I am sorry, Edward. But I cannot disclose that information to you. You are not a family member. So drop it. Alice, would you pass me the gravy?"

"NO!" I finally broke. Gravy? He was asking for gravy at a time like this! "Don't give him anything, Alice. Not until he tells me about Bella."

"Edward you are acting crazy!" My father screamed. "You sit down right this minute and finish your dinner. We will talk about Bella later."

"No, not later now! I need answers now dad! You tell me now or I am walking out of this house!"

"You are acting like a child, Edward. Sit down like your father said." My mother intervened.

"I am sorry, mom, but I can't." With that I got my coat and ran out the door.

I drove around for a few hours before I got to the club. I need to drown my sorrow in alcohol. It was the best thing in a time like this. I walked into the club and went to the bar. This place never asked for my ID. They just gave me what ever I wanted because I looked 21. Stupid fuckers. I ordered a Jack Daniel's and told him to keep them coming. I wanted to get drunk and die. I hated life now. I wanted to go to the hospital, but visiting hours were over and my father told the nurses not to let me in unless it was a weekend. So I was stuck with getting drunk or getting high.

I know it is not a good way to handle this, but I did not care anymore. I wanted this to be a fucking dream. I needed it to be. I never really knew Bella. After all I feel in love with her on the second day I saw her. I barely dated her before I told her I loved her. It all went so fast, and as fast as it came it could be gone. I wanted to know her secrets and her dreams. I wanted to have a family with her one day. She would make a great mom and wife. I just knew it. But I saw it all disappear. Every dream. Everything. Gone. I would never know what it would be like to hold her again. Feel her skin against mine. It killed me. What is the use of living if your only reason for living is dead or dyeing? I had nothing without her.

My father would tell me I am crazy. That I am to young to be feeling like this. But what did he know. Did he ever feel like this? Feel like his whole reason for living was gone? No. He told me how he feel for my mother, and it was nothing like me and Bella. He would never know what it was like. God he makes me so mad sometimes! Him and his reasons. He said the reason I feel like this is because I have never been away from her more then a day. But he could not tell me why I would kill someone for her. That was one thing he didn't have an explanation for.

_Flashback _

_"What happened, Edward?" My father asked. _

_"What do mean, dad? I found Bella on the bed passed out. I saw nothing." I responded. Bella was being checked out by doctors while police were coming up to me._

_"Not about Bella. Mike. What happened with Mike?" My father's face was serious. He never got that look with me. Only Emmett. _

_"I shot him and Jessica." I put my head down, ashamed._

_"Why Edward? Why would you KILL someone?" _

_"Oh I don't know! Maybe because they took Bella. Made her have sex with a man she didn't even know and did that to her." I pointed to the room that Bella was in. I could see my hand shaking from anger._

_My father just put his head down with a sigh. "It still does not make up for it." I could see that he did not know what it was like to love someone like I loved Bella. Me and my father to two completely different people. Who love in two different ways. "I will talk to Charlie. We will see about what we can do about this. Try to make you get off clean." Then he walked away into Bella's room. _

_The next day Charlie told me that he would talk to people to make it seam like self defense. Charlie said he would do anything to keep me out of jail. He said it was because I saved Bella and he could tell I loved her and did it for her. Charlie is a good man. I see so much of Bella in him. _

_End of Flashback _

I have had about 3 drinks and I was already a little wasted. But I wanted more. I needed to feel numb. So I drank and drank and drank. By the time I was done I have had 10 drinks in all. I felt nothing and I wore a smile on my face as the bartender kicked me out because I had to much and was becoming rowdy. After bartender I was thrown out on my ass, I stayed face down unable to move. I finally realized that my life, as I knew it, was falling down around me. My beautiful Bella was in a coma with no sign of ever getting out., my father was keeping things away from me because he was afraid I was going to do something "drastic", and now I was face down on cold concrete to drunk to even move. "What has happened to you, bro?" I looked up to see Emmett over me.

"Help me up. I am too drink to move." I told him.

He lifted me to my feet and I moaned in pain, "Yea you have been doing that a lot lately."

I rolled my eye at him and tried to stay on my two feet. "Let's go home, Edward."

"No take me to the hospital."

"Edward, you can't go there. You are drunk and need sleep. We are going home. Now." He grabbed my arm, but I pulled away.

"No! Doesn't anyone understand that I need to see her! Emmett, I need her! I love her! Please let me see her. I just need to see her once. One more time. Please, Emmett. Try to understand."

"I am sorry Edward, but...no. I know how much you love her and need her, but no. I have to put my foot down. This is hard-" He was cut off by his phone. "Just wait one minute."

"Hello....Hey mom....Yes I found him....What?....Are you sure...Yea, yea we will be right there...Tell dad to do anything he can...I don't know if he could handle it...Alright...Bye."

I did not know what to think. Was she okay? Did something happen? Was a prayer answered? Or did the nightmare just begin? "What Emmett? What happened?"

"We need to go. Now Edward."

**OOOOOOOOO...... :)**

**I love you guys for reading even though I have** **not been regularly updating. You guys are the best readers in the world. I hope you guys are liking the story. Review and tell me what you think of this chapter and any suggestions you might have. I have my ears open! :)**

**LOVE YA**

**Edwardlover95 **


	23. The Moment of Truth

**Heyyyyyyyy **

**HAPPY VALENTINES DAYYY!!!! I hope you all have a wonderful day! Oh who is amped up for Remember Me??? Ummmm....ME!!!! MARCH 12!!!! So can't wait! He looks AWESOME!!!!! I think this is going to be one of his best movies. 333333 ahahahah okay so I am a Robert Pattinson junkie...sue me. :) Any who I hope you guys like this chapter. Sorry about mistakes. We can't all be perfect. :P Meet me at the bottom if you have any questions. :)**

**ENJOY **

The Moment of Truth 

Emmet was scaring me. We had to jump in the car and speed our way to the hospital. I knew it was about Bella, and suddenly a million questions popped into my head. Is she okay? Was she dead? Was she getting better? Whatever it was it was serious, and Emmett said we needed to be there now. He usually never went over the speed limit. But in this case, he did. I had to hold on to the handle and beg him to slow the hell down. This was not good, and getting there we hit major traffic. I never heard someone say "fuck" so much in my life. He was mad and wanted to get to the hospital fast. He phone rang again. He answered it before I got to look at who it was. But by the sound of his voice I knew it was dad. He repeatedly asked Emmett where we were and if we were close. Emmett told him that there had to be an accident on the highway and we were trying to get there as fast as we could.

Sitting in the car gave me a lot of time to think. Think about my life. The future. The past. And Bella. I though about her the most because I wondered, in all thoughts things, what it would be like if she never came into my life and what it would be like without her. It was a hard thing to do, but when you are waiting in a hour in traffic, it gives you time to think about the hard things. I fist thought about my first day at Forks High and the first time I saw her. Emmett was starting his senior year and I was starting my junior. I remember walking into the Main Office and seeing a brown eyed and haired girl. She was waiting to change her roster. I was so intrigued by her. Her eyes told me nothing about her, so I wanted to know more.

That brings me to the fist time I talked to her. It was third period bio. We were partners on a project. I thought it was the perfect way to talk to her. Even though we would have to start the conversation by talking about the structure of human cells. But in my book it was great. I would finally get to know the beautiful brown eyed girl. And when I did, I fell deeper in love with her. I found out she liked the same music as me and love classic literature. She wasn't like the other girls in our class. She was different. Special. Then the truth came out. She had a boyfriend. It killed me. But I told myself that I would wait and just make her think I was her friend. That was harder then it seamed. When she was with Mike she was completely different. She was shy and never spoke unless she was spoken to.

It worried me to see her like that. But what really got me was that she switched lab partners. It broke my heart. I thought she was avoiding me. That she hated me for a reason that I did not know about. The day I finally got the courage to go to her house to see if she wanted me to walk her to school was when all the pieces fit together. Mike was an abusive boyfriend. I wanted to kill him and that day was when my life did a 360. And I have loved it ever since. I then thought about the time I spent with Bella and how wonderful it was. The fist time we kissed and the first time I said "I love you" to her and her saying it back. It was...I can't even explain it. Wonderful. Glorious. Amazing. None of those words could explain that feeling. Never in my life have experienced anything like that.

My thoughts turned sad when I thought about the night I found out Bella was taken by Mike. I never had such hatred for someone like I hated him. I knew he loved her, but couldn't he let her be happy? No. It was him or no one. Well it looks like he will never get his hands on Bella again. I had flashbacks of the eventful night. Jacob on Bella. Bella crying. Bella with blood on her arms from cutting herself. I had to flinch away, but then I saw my life without her. I was helpless and hopeless. I had no place to go. No one was able to help me, so I did it. I too killed myself. It was what I needed. I felt at peace. I then saw Bella. She looked like an angel, but had a sad face on. "Why?" she asked. "You didn't need to do that Edward. You shouldn't be here."

"I should be with you. Thats all I know." I held her. It felt like forever since I had her body close to mine. I wanted her closer. I needed her. "Bella, never leave me again."

"Never." she whispered.

I was pulled out of my trance by a hand shaking me. "Bro, get up. We're here." Emmett then got out of the car and waited for me. I took a deep breath._ Its now or never Cullen. You find out you future right now. _I though to myself. I got out of the car and walked slowly to the hospital door.

"Excuse me." I said to the lady up front. She looked up and batted her eyelashes. _Great another flirt. I just love this. _"Hi. I wanted to see ware my _girlfriend, _Bella Sawn, is." As soon as the word "girlfriend" came out of my mouth the ladies smile faded and stopped batting her eyelashes. _FINALLY!! _

"Ms. Swan is in room 240. Take the elevator up and hit 2. Talk to the lady up front there. She will tell you ware to go." said the lady in a monotone voice.

"Thank you." Emmett and I did as we were told and got to the 2nd floor and went straight to to lady up front. "Hi room 240?"

She typed something in to the computer and looked up at me. "I am sorry, sir, but you will have to wait in the waiting room. The doctors only wish for family members to be in the room at this time."

"Ms., I am her family. Please you have to let me see her."

She gave me a look and said, "Name?"

"Edward Cullen."

She typed in my name and looked at me again. "I am sorry, sir, but your name is not on the list." List? What list? Dad. He must have taken me off of it when he told me no more than two visits a week. "Please wait in the waiting room."

I was losing it. She would not let me see Bella. "Please, Ms. My father is a doctor at this hospital and told me to be here. There has to be a mistake on that list. Ms. Swan is my girlfriend and my father called my brother to get me here. I must go into that room!"

"Sir, go sit in the waiting room or I will be forced to call security."

Security?!?!? Things are going just fine and dandy!!! "Fine call security! See if I care!"

"Edward lets just do what she says and then-"

I cut him off. "DO WHAT SHE SAYS!! We waited in a hour of traffic to wait some more! No Emmett. I am going to see Bella! NOW! I have to. I need to know, Emmett. I have to know if it is alright to go on with my life or if I should just die right next to her! I need to know. Don't you get it! Without her I am nothing! NOTHING!!" I broke down. Right there in front of my brother and twelve strangers. He didn't understand how I felt. No one did. I needed to get it out. Needed to cry.

"Edward. Emmett. Finally." It was my dad. "Jenny, these are my boys. They are fine to come in."

"Yes, Doctor." Jenny said in a whisper.

"Lets go, Edward." Emmett said to me. He helped me up and walked me over to the room. I stopped about a foot a way from the door.

"Emmett?"

"Hmmm?"

"What if she really is dead?"

He sighed. "Then we move on."

I knew he was going to say that. _Move on _I can't do that. I won't do that. Those two words do not exist in my vocabulary. Not without Bella. I just have to walk in there and see for myself. The moment of truth.

I step in.

And Gasped.

"Bella."

***hiding then pokes her head out* Happy Valentines Day....**

**Okay so if you have questions about the beginning I know I didn't give you a lot of info about how our two lovers met so I thought I would sum it up in this chapter. I hope you liked it :) Leave me reviews. They really help!**

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**Edwardslover95 **


	24. Going to Be Okay

**Heyyyy**

**Now this chapter is longer since most people were a bit upset that the last chapter did not have the answer to the "Is she dead' question. But you get you answer to that an other questions in this chapter so read and tell me what you think. Once again this is not checked by anyone, so mistakes are made. (sorry). But i have good news only 13 more days till REMEMBER ME!!! i am sooooo excited. The only thing that got me upset is how people are saying Rob and Kristen are together. I don't like that at all! I want to be with Rob :( ahahah I know it is a long shot, but a girl can dream. Anyway back to the story. Read and see me at the bottom.**

**ENJOY!!!**

**I DO NOT OWN! I only own the Edward cut out in my room ;) lol**

Going To Be Okay

"Bella"

There she was. Sitting up smiling at me. "Edward." she breathed. "Oh, Edward!" She put out her arms asking me to come to her. I was happy to oblige. I ran to her taking it all in. Her smell. Her smile. Her magical voice. Everything. I was home. I was happy. And nothing was going to make me feel bad. Nothing could bring me down. I didn't speak, but she did. "How I missed you. I love the feeling of you in my arms again. I love you, Edward. Please, don't leave me." I felt a wetness on my chest. She was crying.

I pulled away. "Bella, you have no idea how much I have missed you. I have been a train reck without you. You don't have to worry about me leaving you because I am here to stay until you tell me to leave." I told her honestly. It was 100 percent true. If she wanted me gone, I was gone. If she wanted me forever, like I wanted her, I was there forever.

She looked up at me with those big, brown eyes I have missed so much. "Forever." she whispered.

I smiled and brushed away a tear from her cheek. "Forever." I whispered on her lips and kissed her. This kiss was different then all the rest. It was not full of passion or lust, but love. Pure, indescribable love. That was what I felt for Bella. What I will always feel. The kiss was long and before I knew it the kiss became passionate. She was pulling my head down and trying to get me to lay on the bed. Luckily Emmett, my dad, my mom, and Charlie were all outside giving us some privacy. But I didn't want to do this here. In a hospital. I pulled away and walked back before it got out of hand. "Bella, not now. I don't want to do this in the hospital."

She looked at me with tears in her eyes. "I knew it." I raised my eyebrows in a questioning. "You don't want me anymore. After the-" She couldn't say it, but I knew what she meant. I closed my eyes telling her I understood. "I knew you were going to look at me differently. Thats why I did this." She pointed to her arm. I went to the side of the bed and started to roll up her sleeves to look at the cuts better. When I last saw them, they were covered. In her blood. When she saw what I was trying to do she tried to protest, but I looked at her and told her with my eyes that I had to see what happened. What I saw made me want to kill Mike all over again. On Bella's arm she wrote the word "hoe" in small letters. I cried harder then when I was in the lobby. "I am sorry." she whispered. "If you want to leave I-"

"Leave. You this would make me want to leave you." I tried to say in between sobs. I was such a fucking pussy. "I will never leave you and I do want you. I will always want you. Nothing you can say or do will ever change that. I have missed you for over 3 weeks. I want you so badly it hurts, but I will not do it in a hospital. You deserve better than that. And Bella. This" I brushed the cut with my hand. "is not true at all. It was not your fault. He was a sick dirty man. And so was Mike. I will love you forever. I need you to be alive and well or I will not be able to live." I kissed her wrist. "You understand?" I put her face in between my hands to stare into her eyes. She had to know how I feel about her.

She nodded her head. I dropped my hands and climbed on the bed and brought her closer to me. She put her head on my chest and closed her eyes. I breathed in the smell of her hair. Oh, how I have missed that smell. I felt like this was all a dream. That she was gone and this was her way of telling me. I closed my eyes and opened them, but she was still here. With me. I smiled down at my angel. She was back, and I promised myself that nothing would ever hurt her again. Knowing Mike was gone gave me a feeling that the battle was half over. But Jacob was still out there, and who knows what he wants.

Bella moved around trying to get conferrable. I pulled the covers over her and closed my eyes. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will have all day with her. "Goodnight, love." I kissed her and fell asleep.

"Edward." Was the last thing I heard and put a smile on my face.

**:) :( :P :D :] :[ :o XO**

I didn't want the dream to be over. Not yet. I could not bring myself to open my eyes. _It had to be a dream. _I thought. _I saw her. Dead. There is no way she lived. Or maybe...._ It was now or never. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down. She was there. Sound asleep. I wanted to jump up and down, yell at the top of my lungs that she was still here, but most of all, I wanted to kiss her, make love to her, tell her all the things I never said! Everything! I wanted to give her the world.

After I woke up, I didn't move. I couldn't. Her body close to mine, was the best feeling I have felt in a long time. This felt right. It felt like it should be this way forever. I never wanted it to end. She moved around and opened her eyes. She rub them and yawned. I gave a little chuckle. Her face was too cute. "What?" she asked.

"Do you know how cute you are?" I asked kissing her head.

She just made a face and out her head back on my chest. She sighed as I wrapped my arm around her. "When do you think I can go home?"

"I don't know. Do you want me to get my dad?"

"No," she said getting up. I groaned from the loss of contact. "No. Don't call your dad. I just wanted to know. I hate hospitals."

"I know, but you have to get better and this is the only place you can get better at."

"Can't your dad take care of me at your house." She asked timidly.

"Umm...I don't know, Bella. He really thinks that staying in a hospital will do you move good then at home."

"You asked him."

"Well..no," She gave me a look. "but I know my father."

"Yea, yea." She said with a smile. It was good to see that smile again.

"Anyway," I said. "I think you should call Alice. I know she is worried about you."

"I don't know, Edward. I kinda don't want to talk to anyone now. Can't I just stay with you?" She look so fragile and scared. I knew there was something she was not telling me.

"Love, is there something wrong. I know you were upset last night about what happened, but is there something else. You know you can tell me anything."

She sighed and looked down trying to compose herself. When she looked up I saw a tear run down her face. "Is Mike still...you know....out there?"

I took in a deep breath. I was wondering how I was going to tell her this. How would she react? Would she scream? Would she run? Will she look at me differently after she knew? "Umm...Bella. I don't know how to tell you this but..."

I was cut off by her sobs. She had her head in her hands. She thought he was alive.

"Bella, he is dead. He is gone, he can't hurt you anymore."

She wiped her tears and looked at me though blood shot eyes. "He is gone?" she whispered. I nodded in response. "How?"

"Thats the hard part. If I tell you this you have to promise me, please promise me, that you will not get scared. Okay?" She nodded and looked a little freaked out, but didn't move. She wanted to hear me out and I loved her for that. "Okay. When I found you in the bed I flipped out. I found a gun in the house and walked down to ware Mike and Jessica were. Then I talked to them. I made it look like I was going to kill myself, because in reality I did want to die." She looked freaked out by that. "But I thought there might be a chance you were still some how alive. I felt it. So I turned the gun on them and...s-shot them." I couldn't look at her reaction, so I hung my head in shame. "I am so sorry. If you are scared of me I completely understand."

I felt two soft, small hands on my cheeks. They lifted up my face to meet two brown eyes. She moved her face closer to me so our lips were almost touching. "Thank you," she whispered on my lips and then kissed me with so much love that I knew we were going to be okay. When she finally pulled away I looked at her trying to see if she was hiding anything in her eyes. Nothing but pure love.

"Are you sure you are okay with this?" I need to know.

"Edward, why wouldn't I be okay with this? At first, yea, I thought 'wow he would really kill someone for me'. But then I thought of everything you told me and I knew that you were the same Edward I fell in love with. You really would do anything for me and I know that now." She took my hand an brought it up to cheek and leaned into it.

"Seems like you did a lot of thinking." I joked. The sound that come out of her mouth was like bells. "I love you so much." I rub her cheek with my thumb.

"I love you too." she said with a small smile. "I am sorry I put you though that but..."

"I know. But I want you to know that no matter what you do, I will always love you. No matter what."

She nodded her head. I put my chin on the top of her head and kissed it. "Did you really want to die, Edward?"

"Yes." I did not hesitate. I am nothing without her.

"But...why? You could find someone better then me. Someone without all of this...baggage."

"You still don't get it. I don't want anyone else. I love you for you and all the baggage you come with. You forget that I got myself into this, but I don't want out of it. I want you for who you are. Nothing less, nothing more. You could be a stripper and I would give a fuck. I love you. Please understand that. We will get though this. Together."

I saw a tear escape her eyes. I hurt her. "Bella, I am sorry what did I-"

"Edward, you didn't hurt my feelings. You made me feel more loved then I have ever felt in my life. Thank you."

I smiled at her. "Your welcome, love."

Bella's stomach growled and I knew she was hungry. Reluctantly, I got up from the bed. Bella started to protest, but she need her energy. "I will be right back, love. But while I am gone I am going to send my dad in. You need to be checked out." I knew she hated doctors and hospitals, but she really need to be checked.

"Okay. But please don't be long."

I kissed her lips, "I promise."

I walked outside to find my dad and Charlie talking in the waiting room. "Hey guys. She is up I was just on my way out to get her something to eat."

"Oh. How is she?" Charlie asked.

"Good. Dad would you mind checking her?I want to make sure she is okay."

"Sure, son." he replied.

"Thanks." I walked to the cafeteria to get Bella and I some breakfast. I loaded the tray with cereal, juice, fruit, and pancakes. Before I went back to the room, I called Alice to let her know Bella was okay.

"Hello," a breathless voice answered.

"Alice?"

"Oh...hey Edward." She said my name really loud. Almost like she wanted someone to hear.

"Yea, umm I just called to tell you the Bella is awake."

She screamed really, really loud. "Oh my God, Edward! That is great! Tell Bella that I will be there soon so I can see her!"

I laughed at my crazy sister. But I had a feeling that she was not alone. "Will do. Oh, and Alice."

"Yea?"

"Who is with you?"

"Umm..with...with me?" she stuttered.

"Yes, Alice. I know you are not alone. Now give the asshole the phone so I can interrogate him."

"I don't know, Edward. He-"

"Alice?"

"Fine." I heard her pass the phone.

"Hey, Edward." Jasper? Why would they want to hide that they were together?

"Jasper? What the fuck, man. I thought some mother fucker was with Alice. Not you." I laughed.

"Ummm.. Edward. Me and Alice need to tell you something." I heard Alice whisper something to him. Almost like she was warning him about something. What is going on?

"What?"

"Were dating" WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? Dating? But they are step-siblings.

"Wait..what? Is that even illegal?" I asked.

"Well..no. But I love her, Edward. I have for a long time and I mean were not blood related or anything."

"I know, Jasper, but..fuck..you really want to do this?"

"Yes," he stated. "I do."

I had to admit it was taboo, but I loved them and Jasper seamed really happy. So I guess I could accepted. For them. "Well more power to ya."

"So you are okay with this?" He asked. He almost seamed nervous about my answer.

"Jasper, I love you both and if you are happy, then I am happy."

"Thank you, Edward."

"Your welcome, but I hope you are able to tell dad." I laughed

"Yea we are still trying to figure that out." He laughed.

"Well I bet he will tell you the same thing." I looked at my watch and saw that I was out for an half an hour. Bella is waiting for me. "Dude, I got to get back to Bella. Will I see you later?"

"Yea. I'll see. Tell Bella I said hi."

"I will. Bye" I hung up and raced back to Bella's room without dropping the food.

When I got back, I saw Charlie and Bella talking. I did not want to interrupt, but I wanted my day with my Bella. I knocked on the door and heard Bella tell me to enter.

"Hi. I am sorry I just wanted to give Bella her breakfast." I said

"I is okay were are done talking." Charlie said. "I have to get back to the station. Will you look after her for me?"

"Of course I will."

He got up out of the chair and kissed Bella on the forehead. "I love you, Bells."

"I love you too, dad."

He got his coat and turned to me, "Thank you again. I don't know what she would have done without you. As much as it pains me to see my little girl trust another man with her life, I know she picked the right one." His words hit my heart and I was glad that he approved of me.

"Thank you, Mr. Swan. That means a lot."

He nodded. "And please, call me Charlie."

"Charlie." I said with a smile and he turned out and walked out the door.

I looked back at Bella who had a huge smile on her face. "What?" I asked.

She shook her head. I heard her stomach growl again. She really need food. I got her a hospital tray so she could set her food on it. As I put her food on the table, I noticed her staring at me. "What is it, love?"

"Nothing. I still can't believe you are mine." Her hands played with my hair almost like she was looking to see if I was real.

"Believe it, babe." I kissed her lips softly. "Now eat. You must be hungry."

And she was. She moaned at the taste of the food. I guess she did not eat in a while. As she ate I we talked a little. I mostly stared at her beauty. I memorized everything about her. I never wanted her face to float away from my mind.

"Thank you." She said.

"Your welcome," I smiled at her. "Alice is coming by. Did you know her and Jasper are dating?"

"Ummm..yea." Wait, what? She knew?

"You knew? And you didn't tell me?"

"I was. I mean Alice told me to tell you when we went to the spa that day, but then we had that little fight thing and so much happened that I guess I forgot. I am sorry." She put her head down and closed her eyes. She thought I was mad at her. How could I ever be mad at her?

"Its okay, love. You don't have to apologize. I understand" I brought her close to me, not letting go. She seemed so sleepy. "You tiered, love."

She nodded with her eyes closed. I laughed and put her down. "Sleep well, love. I will wake you when Alice arrives." I went to the chair in the corner of the room at sat there, staring.

We were going to be okay. I know we are.

**Yayyyyy SHE IS ALIVE!!! Now don't think that because she is alive and Mike is dead that this is ending. Have you forgot about Jacob??? :)**

**REVIEW!!!!**

**LOVE YA**

**Edwardlover95**


	25. Real Love

**HIIIIII!**

**I really hope I did not lose any one because of my lateness. Please understand that my life has been really crazy and I appreciate all readers who understand :) Anywho:**

**WOOOT that Eclipse trailer IS FREAKEN AWESOME! okay that book was my favorite one since E and B were together the WHOLE time! AHHHHH June 30th can't come fast enough. Speaking of June the dreaded freshman year is almost over! Yayyyy! I can't wait till summer. I miss my friends and having a life ahahahah. Anyway does anyone watch "Glee"? Ummm can anyone say Jonathan FREAKEN Groff! I love him! Sorry got off the topic of Twilight and went to my other LOVE, musicals and breaking out into dance solos and high notes. Okay another apology because it took me so long to put this up. It is one of the hardest things to juggle homework, boys, and bitches. Yup I hate going to an all girls school. Way too much drama. Okay on to the story and once again not bated so it might not be that great. **

**ENJOY!**

**Do not own. I wish I owned Edward. He is better then all the other guys out there..sigh...**

**RECAP: **

_Bella is alive and well. She has just been told by Edward what happened to her and how he was feeling as she was in the hospital. _

Real Love

BPOV

**Two Weeks Later**

It has been two weeks since I woke up in the hospital and a lot has happened. Edward caught me up on all the things that happened when I was in the comma and what happened when he found me. He told me about Mike and Jess and I was surprised when he told me about him shooting them both, but I was not scared of him. I was proud of him. The only thing that made me scared was when he told me he that he thought about killing himself. He said that he was going to pull the trigger on himself. If he ever, ever did that, I would die too. I could never lose him or I would never be able to live with myself.

He kept on telling me how much he loved me and cared for me. He made me feel like I was the only girl in the whole world. I wanted him so bad when I woke up. I need him and I need him to show me that he loved me. But Edward being Edward would not give in. It hurt like a stab wound to the heart. But his kind, loving words made me know that he still loved me. He looked over the busies and cuts and loved me. It was too good to be true. After our little heart to heart, Alice came to the hospital. She was so happy to get her relationship wit Jasper off her chest. She wanted her brother to know who she loved, and that was Jasper. Edward left Alice and I to talk about girl stuff.

"Oh, Bella, I finally told him!" she sang with glee. "And Edward accepted it. I was so relived. I can finally love who I want to love!"

"I am so happy for you, Alice. Both of you." I really was. Alice and Jasper deserved to be happy and deserved to be with each other. They were a perfect fit. Alice was bubbly and outgoing and she brought that out of Jasper, who is shy and low key. "I am just sorry I forgot to tell him like you told me too."

"It is okay. I understand. You guys had your own stuff to deal with." I am lucky to have a best friend like Alice. Sure, I hate that she always wants to go shopping, but thats what makes Alice, Alice.

"Thanks, Alice. I'm really glad your my best friend."

"I am glad _your _my best friend." We embraced in a hug when I suddenly felt something wet on my shoulder. Was Alice _crying? _

"Al? Are you crying?" I asked pulling out of her grasp to get a good look at her.

She nodded wiping, "I am sorry. Its just...God what happened if I lost you! Your like a sister to me Bells! I love ya. So don't you ever do that to me again. Okay?"

Her little speech made me cry a little too. I love Alice like a sister too. She has been their for me just as much or if not more than Edward. She was the sister God forgot to give me. **(I say that to my friend all the time. It is scary how much we are alike. Sorry back to it.) **"I promise, Alice," I said with a smile and a tear in my eye.

"Okay now that we are done with the mushy stuff," We had to laugh at that. Neither of us like that stuff. "we need to get your little Eddie in here." She smiled and exited to through the door.

With in minutes, Edward was back and in my bed. I sighed and finally felt at peace. With all the craziness going on, it felt good to just stay still and be calm for a moment. This is, until my father gets here. When I go up Charlie was out for two weeks on a case in Seattle and I could not tell him to come home. He was helping people and to me that was more important then be with me. Well really I want some time with Edward before my father bombards me with questions. I wanted to stay in this spot forever and if forever was only two weeks, it was fine with me.

"Edward?"

"What is it, love?" he responded with a kiss to my head.

"What's going to happen when I have to go back to school? People are bound to know what happened. It was on the news, in papers-"

"Bella, Bella baby be calm, please. It will be okay. We only have two months of school left if you want to be home schooled..." He paused and sighed when he saw my head shake. Home school? With the best months of school ahead? I don't think so. Plus Alice will never let me ditch prom, no matter what. "Then what do you want to do, Bella? Tell me. Let me help you."

I felt my eyes water, "I-I d-d-don't know." He held me tight to his chest. "Edward, I am scared."

"Oh baby, you have nothing to be afraid of, okay?" He put his hand on my chin and tried to bring my eyes up to met his. "Look at me. Let me see you big, beautiful brown eyes I love so much. " He pause, waiting. "Please." I reluctantly looked up at him. His green orbs locked with mine. "There's my girl." He smiled and stroked my cheek. "You will be fine."

I nodded. "As long as I have you."

"Forever." He laced his fingers into mine as a symbol of our unconditional love for each other. He kissed my hand and made all the fear go away. It was the truth, as long as I had him, I was happy, safe, at peace. Without him I was a goner. My eyes began to get tiered and all I wanted to do was sleep in the arms of my lover. My Edward. "Sleep love. I love you" Were the last words I heard before I let sleep take me away.

**:) :( :P :D :O**

"Bells. Kiddo. Please it's dad."

I rubbed my eyes since the hospital lights were too bright. "Daddy?" I whispered. Okay so I am a daddies girl. I missed my dad. I never thought I would find another man like my dad until Edward came along.

"Bella I thought I lost you," he cried while hugging me. My father usually is afraid to show his emotions, but in times like this my dad can cry like a girl. "Don't you ever do that to me again." He let go and sat on the bed.

I laughed that he and Alice said the same thing. "I promise dad. I am sorry."

He sighed. "When I got the call from Carlisle..." he shuddered, "I thought he was calling to say you were gone. When he told me you were okay I wanted to tell the officers that I had to get back. But Carlisle reassured me that you wanted me to stay and find the motherfucker who raped all those other girls. He said that you told him that I was doing the right thing. Really when I got the call that Seattle wanted my help I hesitated going because I did not want to leave you." I told Carlisle to make my dad stay and find the guy. If any other girls were raped like I was, I wanted the guy that did it to be found. It was like he was doing it for me. So no other girl would go through that, and for that I was grateful that my father did just that.

"I wanted he caught," I said in a small voice. "Did you ever find him?"

He just looked down. "The hunt was called off after those two weeks. We lost him. I am sorry, Bells."

"Dad, why are you apologizing to me? You did everything you could and I know you tried."

He nodded. "I know. I just wanted him off the streets."

"And he will be."

"I love you, kiddo."

"I love you too, dad"

He got up and kissed my forehead. My dad almost had a sixth sense when it came to me wanting to see Edward. He knew that in that moment I wanted Edward there with me. To hold me. My father walked out of the room and nodded to Edward almost to say _You may enter. _Edward got up and walked to me. Well he calls it walking, I call it running. He could sense that I did not want to talk, so he came to the bed and slipped under the covers with me. For a while we stayed like that. Edward did not sleep much, that I knew, so I let him sleep. He looked so peaceful. I kissed his nose and after he scrunched it up. It made me laugh. I put my head in the crook of his head. I breathed in his sent and was home.

**:) :( :P :0 : / :] **

Last night was the first night I actually slept. I was so emotionally drained from when Alice and Charlie came that once my head hit Edward's chest I was a goner. When I awoke, Edward was brushing the hair out of my face trying to watch me sleep. He had a huge smile on his face and whispered, "We are going home." At first I thought I miss heard him, but then he kissed me with such passion and love that I knew my time in this hospital was over. I would finally be in my own bed, maybe even with Edward.

I knew he thought that I only wanted to have sex because I wanted to prove my love to him, but I was really ready. I wanted it to be with Edward. With Mike dead, I was free from my past. I felt a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I wasted to have that spacial, real fist time with Edward. I knew that it was going to be filled with love, not anger. Edward is my knight in shinning armor. He was the man I never thought I would get. Now here he is kissing me, loving me. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

After our mini make-out session, Edward helped me pack everything that was in the hospital room into my overnight bag that my dad brought from home. I received so many cards and stuffed animals, that I thought none of it was going to fit. Then I got out of that hideous hospital gown. I hated that thing. You were naked underneath and the thing never closed all the way! All I wanted to put on was my sweats and a big sweatshirt. Edward let me wear his Forks High School one. I loved it because it smelled just like him and had all of his warmth. When we were finally done, Carlisle signed my discharge papers and told me that he would be over around seven to check up on me.

Charlie aloud me to drive home with Edward since he had to work. I was going to be home alone with Edward for four hours, and I could not be happier. I wanted to be back with him and only him. We pulled up to the front of the house and sat for a while just looking at it. I felt like I have not been here in ages. It was like the first day back in Forks all over again. It was strange. "You okay? Edward asked.

"Yea, yea. I am fine. Its just...I feel like it has been forever since I was in my own house," I replied. I pulled the sleeves of Edward's hoodie over my hands.

"Well you are home now and your safe. Thats all that matters." He put his hands on my cheek and rubbed it with his thumb. "You want to go in."

I nodded.

Edward got out and walked around to open my door. He got my overnight bag out of the trunk and put his arms around me. Once we got to the door, I pulled my key out. My hand was shaking as I tried to put it in the lock. Was I really this scared to open my own door? Will I ever be okay after this? I didn't know and I didn't care as long as I had Edward. I pushed open the door and looked around.

_Same _I thought. Everything was the same. Nothing changed, nothing was altered. I let out a breath and started upstairs. My room was like the rest of the house. I looked like I was never gone. My clothes were still scattered, my bed unmade, and my computer was probably still on NYU's website. I was looking at it when Alice called me to go out. The night I was taken. I always wanted to go to school there because of they are one of the best in writing. Who knows what college I will go to know. Who wants a girl who got raped with suicidal tenancies? Not NYU.

Sighing, I took the bag from Edward and put it on my bed and began to unpack. "Do want help?" he asked.

"Sure." He took somethings from my bag and sorted them out. Edward knows how I put my clothes away. I put pj's in one area on the bed, then shirts, then pants, and then things I hang up. I liked things to be in their place. When the sorting was done, I began to put the clothes away. We did all of this in erie silence. I wanted to talk, I waned to say something, anything! But no sound would come out. Finished, I stood still looking at Edward. Should I make a move now? Will he turn away? Does he want it too? So many questions and so little answers. I decided to go for it. I walked to him slowly and bent down to kiss him. The kiss soon became fun of lust and need. Edward put me on top of him and rolled us over so he was above me.

His tongue then asked for entrance and I was happy to oblige. Our tongues fought for dominance, but I let him win. His hand started to wonder up my shirt to my bra. He broke our kiss to breath and to take the shirt off. Then his lips were back on mine. I missed this. This genuine love he has for me no matter what. It is one of the many reasons why I love him. We kissed for what seemed like hours, but I wanted to feel him. Skin on skin. I put my hands under his shirt and pulled it up. Once again we broke the kiss for only to seconds and then it was back to tasting my sweet Edward.

Edward was sweet. Sweeter then candy. His taste was a mixture between peppermint and cool vanilla. If they ever made a gum in that flavor I would by 100 boxes. I could never get enough of it. Our skin was touching and it felt amazing. He warmed me up. He then slid his whole body down the length of mine to get to my sweet spot. He pushed my underwear to the side and put in his two fingers. He slid on up and down my slit while I moaned his name. God, did I ever mention how much I love his fingers? He took the fingers out of my underwear and into his mouth and moaned. I wanted him right then. I pulled his face up to mine and kissed him hungrily. I could still taste me on his lips and that combination made me moan in his mouth.

He kissed down the side of my neck to my breasts. It felt so good. I missed this. His touch. His kiss. This felt right. He paid special attention to my breast, but when he was done I flipped him over. He need some attention now. I kissed him all over. I was not satisfied with just his mouth. I wanted all of him. I needed all of him. I kissed his whole body. Up and down, left and right. I kissed everybody part. I wanted to show him how much I love him. When I got to his holy grail I kissed the top and looked up at Edward. His eyes had warning in it. He was asking me if I really wanted this. "I love you," I whispered and then took him.

I heard him moan my name again and again. I loved how he said my name. He did not just say it in pleasure, but love. I sucked harder and faster; swirled my tongue around him and then he came undone. I took in every drop. When I was finished, I kissed his lips and did not want to come up for air. "God I love you," he said and then switched positions on me. He hovered over me and asked, "You positive about thins."

"Absolutely."

"I love you so much Isabella Swan," and with that I was whole. This time nothing hurt. I was crying but not tears of pain or fear but unconditional love for the man above me. Edward was gentle moving in and out slowly. A little too slow. I begged him to quicken the pace. He struggled with himself on whether or not he should do it. So I had to take matters into my own hands. When he pushed into me again, I moved my hips upward to meet his thrusts. Even though that feeling was amazing, I wanted Edward to let loose. I knew he was scared that if he went to fast I would remember everything. But this was about me and Edward and only me and Edward.

"Please, Edward. I am s-so close. Let g-g-go," I trembled.

"Fuck it," he whispered and pounded away. The feeling was incredible. Every thrust, every moan was magical. I wished that this was my first time, but you can't change the past only look ahead to the future. And hopefully more of this is in my future. It only took a few thrust for me to come. My body was shaking uncontrollably and I felt as if I ran a marathon. Edward came soon after and now all I wanted now was to sleep with my man.

"Thank you" kiss "thank you" kiss "thank you," I told him. I do not think he knows how much this meant to me.

"It was my pleasure," he whispered on my lips. "I am so proud of you. You go through hell and even though all that happened, you are still strong enough to do that. You amaze me." His big green eyes were looking right at me, and in that moment I want to redo the whole night.

"Edward, the only reason why I am so strong is because of you. To have you love me like that and not care about the crap I went though, that is what keeps me going. Your love is why I am still breathing."

He paused and looked at the ceiling contemplating something. He then go up and when to his jacket. For a second I thought he was leaving, but relief came over me when I saw that he pulled out a CD and went over to my stereo. "I wrote this for you when you were in the hospital. I want to play it for you to show you how much you mean to me. When I thought about you, this is what came out. This beautiful melody that had your strength but also your vulnerability. This is you in song," he laughed. "Its called Bella's Lullaby." He presses play and walked back over to me.

The song was beautiful and know that Edward wrote it made it even more beautiful. I closed my eyes and pictured him siting on that piano bench pounding out these notes for me. Even threw closed eyes, I could not escape my tears. I slipped into Edward's strong arms, being pulled away by his love. A love I never understood. Even when he kissed Jessica, I knew he never did it, but I felt that she was what he deserved. Not me. Hearing this, this wonderful song for me, about me, made me feel special and deserving of him. When the song ended with a big finish, I could hardly stop the tears. "Edward, that was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard in my life. Thank you." I kissed him not ever wanting to let go.

"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and your voice could not compete with that song. Every time I hear your voice, I get this butterfly in my stomach that won't go away. No matter how long I have been around you, I don't think it will ever go away." He brought my writ up to his mouth and kissed my cuts again. "I need you to keep breathing. Forever."

"And ever."

**Wow that is long :) yayyyyyy for fluff! REVIEW! PLEASE! **

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**Edwardsgirl95**


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